Maybe Lincoln was Talking During the Play

How many times have you tried to watch a movie or play in a theatre and some clods keep talking or let their cell phones ring? What do you do?

James J. Cialella Jr. knew what to do. On Christmas Day he tried to watch “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” in a Philadelphia theatre. However, his movie watching experience quickly went down hill because a family in the first row continued to chat. He asked them to stop. They ignored him. He asked them again. The young son laughed and made wise-ass comments about him. He threw a bag of popcorn at the kid. Then the people started talking and laughing LOUDER.

So James stood up, walked over to the family in the first row, pulled out a .380 and shot the father in the arm. Then, as the theatre burst into chaos with people screaming and running for exits, James calmly sat down and continued to watch the movie. One suspects he had his choice of seats.

The police soon arrived and arrested Mr. Cialella. He’s now charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, and weapons violations. The father has been released from the hospital.

What do I think they should do to James J. Cialella? I think they should give him Barrack OBama’s old seat in the Senate and his money back because he didn’t get to watch the rest of the movie.


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7 Responses to “Maybe Lincoln was Talking During the Play”

  1. amy stahl says:

    sounds like a good plan to me.

    My brother remembers years ago when we were in a restaurant trying to have an important conversation and across the room was this screaming baby.
    After a few MInutes I said, “Jesus. Will someone stick a knife in that thing please?!”

    Im a nanny now.

  2. paolo. says:

    That’s my Amy! In similar situations I’ve been known to yell, “CHLOROFORM!”

  3. Bill says:

    In prehistoric times, theaters had employees known as ushers who would escort noisemakers to the exit. I am not one who relishes turning back the clocks, but the past did have some nice features. Frankly, I don’t know why people even bother with movie theaters anymore.

  4. amy stahl says:

    chloraform. wow. I like that a lot.
    thanks for the new material.

  5. Rich Gardner says:

    I agree, give him his money back, the ushers weren’t doing their jobs.
    Anyone who disagrees with me…I’ll pop a cap in their ass.

  6. mahoney says:

    Marshall Fine the movie critic ha a good story related to this here:

  7. paolo. says:

    Marshall Fine is a weuss! If you don’t believe in handguns, BRING A RIFLE! This mindless chatter has to stop!

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