Was Jesus Gay?

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Now let’s try to be calm here. First, pick up and revive the good Christians who have already fainted at the mere thought of the concept. They’ll be OK. Cutting emotion and brainwashing out of the equation is not easy – even for me – and I didn’t know the guy. And I certainly don’t have the answer – I’m just very interested in the reactions the question brings up.

Let’s consider the facts as they’ve been taught to believers: Mr. Christ (the son) was a single man most popular in his late ‘20’s and ‘30’s – certainly a virile time in a man’s life. And the word “man” is key. Sure, we’re led to believe he played other roles in the universe, but when he was on earth, he was “just” a man – and a very fit, healthy, and good-looking man by all accounts – with the odd (and much ballyhooed) “miracle” thrown in every now and again – which would have made him even more desirable.


Christ chose not to go into his father’s line of work – carpentry – and seemed extremely close to his mother. He seemed to prefer to hang out with a band called “The Disciples” which did not include a single woman. He was never married nor had children. Jesus was a very popular, charismatic, public speaker and was not afraid to express his views in public – some would say he even flaunted them. Mr. Christ was known as a rebel which has a strong appeal to many women. It was even said he favored the color purple.


One striking thing that emerges after two thousand years is how documented and recorded his life is. Seemingly every day, in the last years of his life, there was a new incident or clever lesson faithfully remembered by the faithful. The poor man couldn’t seem to turn around without more stories – both good and bad – being blabbed and babbled by the multitudes.


But there’s one, glaring exception to the history of Jesus: his sexuality. We’re led to believe he was without one of humankind’s greatest needs, drives, and pleasures: sex. Hmmm.


I’ve got to ask the question, why? Was he not . . . uhhh . . . “normal”? As a man, didn’t he have . . . uhhh . . . “desires” one way or another – or both ways? Why would all the stories, preaching’s, lessons, parables, sayings, and miracles not even HINT at Jesus’ sexual preferences – or lack thereof?


Was there a cover-up? Why would there be a cover-up if there’s nothing to cover up? If Jesus was as pure as we’ve been led to believe, wouldn’t the Bible be featuring that? Wouldn’t there be scripture topics like, “Play Your Own Chimes and You’ll Play in Hell!” “Jesus Kicks Fruits Out of the Temple!”, or “Loaves Not Ho’s”?


I don’t know, I really don’t. I know old Jewish law abhorred homosexuality and condemned those who practiced it. But what would happen if your religion had a “Star” who happened to be gay? Wouldn’t it be kind of like, “Doctor, I hate the fact my wife thinks she’s a chicken – but I need the eggs.”?


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23 Responses to “Was Jesus Gay?”

  1. amy stahl says:

    [awww. An Annie Hall reference.
    our movie!! love you!!]

    1. I myself, am an example of asexual. Neither one did anything for me.

    2. Jesus was never recorded ever born.

  2. Frank Paolo says:

    “2. Jesus was never recorded ever born.”

    I didn’t want to get into this, my Love (“Why isn’t she here RIGHT NOW sitting next to me?” – Staples of MY Life – for what it is) BUT have you never heard of the “VIRGIN BIRTH”? This one knocks “fishes and loaves” and “walk on water” OTTA THE PARK! If your Grandfather told this whopper, you’d have stopped bringing him ice cubes.

    There is a rumor that Jesus’ birth WAS recorded – 8-years after Annette Funicello’s – at Faxton Hospital in Utica, New York but I can’t confirm it. Hospital record officials keep hanging up when I call. Well, what did I expect from a place that’s aci-Tu (spit a honker) spelled backwards?

  3. Brenda says:

    Jesus was not gay!!! Didn’t you read The DaVinci Code? He had descendents. Dan Brown said so.

    I guess he could have been bi-sexual, but really I don’t think it matters. God created us all right? I just hope the man enjoyed some luvin. Turning water into wine, healing people, and reforming prostitutes is hard work. He should have been allowed to relax and enjoy himself don’t you think?

    Gay or not, Jesus rocks! The blasphemy would be if one thought otherwise:)

  4. Frank Paolo says:

    BIG PS: I’ve gotten a few private comments saying something like 30+ years of Jesus’ life is UNACCOUNTED FOR!!!! SAY WHAT!? Not being a big follower of the guy, I just assumed the bible is filled with accounts AFTER the “Virgin Birth BMP” (Before Maury Povitch). No chapters on Jesus going to grade school? Graduation? His prom? He just pops up in his late ’20’s or early ’30’s?

    C’mon! I’ve got to read his book (like he ever read mine). No records for like 30-years?! C’mon. Franco is thinking: FEDERAL WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM!!

  5. Bill says:

    He let some woman pour a bucket of perfume over his head, right? And he enjoyed washing other people’s stinky feet, yes?

    ‘Nough said.

  6. amy stahl says:

    Annabaptist growing up as a quaker,
    when I was about 12 I decided after reading some exposure to the book that this idea of baptising was kind of neat.
    [We believed in Sunday school but absolutely no public worship.]
    anyways, so I considered baptism to this bible.

    What a great metaphoric drawing to look towards in trying for leading a humbling life of treating others well, I thought.

    No shit:
    With water in hand I stopped the priest in front of an audience and said, “Wait; so some people believed all that actually happened tho?”
    Later on, I said, at 12, “wow, yes its a good story of a great man, words to live by in fact, yes…but, all that being tRue… wowww That seems just a bit too ridiculous doesnt it?”

  7. Steve says:

    I think your title should be, “Should it Matter if Jesus Were Gay?”
    Now, some rational, thinking people would say, “No, it shouldn’t matter”
    ahhh, but this is America…and we don’t do that, think, that is (if you want proof, Glenn Beck has his own show).
    Considering people like Socrates, DaVinci, Thoreau…gay people aren’t in all that bad of company, so if Jesus were gay…

    I wonder if Buddha was gay…a little heavy to be, but I’ve always thought the image of him as failry androngynous.

    “Jesus didn’t speak English, but I do think I understand, the rhyme and the reason of a goody-good, gentleman”
    -Collective Soul
    “Skin”

  8. Steve says:

    This just in – off subject, but just too good (in a bad way) not to share…from the “Why is this man even here?” file.

    “WASHINGTON (CNN) — Former Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday that he does not believe Saddam Hussein was involved in the planning or execution of the September 11, 2001, attacks.”
    “He strongly defended the Bush administration’s decision to invade Iraq, however, arguing that Hussein’s previous support for known terrorists was a serious danger after 9/11.”
    “I do not believe and have never seen any evidence to confirm that [Hussein] was involved in 9/11. We had that reporting for a while, [but] eventually it turned out not to be true,” Cheney conceded.

    This lyin’, no account, back-pedaling, revisionist history mother***ker. I swear.
    They shot JFK, RFK, King, Gandhi, even Lennon…and yet.
    You wanna get yourself shot, just talk peace.
    But man, if you want to get on CNN and be the hero of the GOP…wave a flag, send American kids off to war and lie your a$$ off, baby.

    You woulda’ thought, after November, that’d be it, they’d get the hint…they’d go away…but no, here they are. There’s no escaping these people.
    Godd**mn, Rethuglicans, get the fu** outta my country!!!!!

  9. Frank Paolo says:

    T/F – Saddam Hussein was our ALLY in the ’70’s when the Aytollah Khomeni took over Iran from our Puppets Shaw. (TRUE)

    T/F – Osama Bin Missing declared a Holy War AGAINST Saddam Hussein about 10 years ago. (TRUE)

    T/F – A majority % of Iraqis want the US OUT of their country NOW!. (TRUE)

    T/F – Americans have been suckered again into this war FOR NOTHING except PROFITS for the military-industrial complex.

  10. Steve says:

    Yeah, we’ve been warned (Ike, to name one), and we’ve seen it enough so that we really do have no one to blame but ourselves for letting this crap continue.
    But, like little kids, if they know they can get away with it, they will continue doing it…
    and they have gotten away with it.
    And they will continue to get away with it, there’s always just enough flag wavers and people who don’t seem to mind US casualties, “Well, I mean, freedom isn’t free, right?”, (What does that even mean?Freedom isn’t free? Then how much is it?).
    Ah well.
    it just boggles the mind.
    I hate seeing people get away with this sh*t.

  11. Brenda says:

    I hate that we have had over military 4200 casualties fighting “terrorists” in Iraq. Isn’t that more than the civilians that died from 9/11? The person responsible for those attacks is still on the loose. So we have lost even more American lives as a result GW’s “war on terra” and still have not received justice for the attacks on 9/11 because we were too busy kowtowing to GW’s imaginary weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. I look back now and see how foolish we were.

    I mean really, we were able to find Sadaam pretty easily, why not these weapons?

    You would think GW would have worked as hard finding the culprit who actually used weapons of mass destruction against the US unless of course one doesn’t consider giant airplanes as a plausible weapon of mass destruction. Then again Bin Laden doesn’t actually have a country for us to rebuild in order give Cheney’s associates some work and billions in taxpayer money. ***king @**holes!!!!

  12. Paul says:

    You really lit up the switchboards with entry. I love it.

  13. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    Frank you get all trues as far as I can see, and about IKE- I saw a tape of him warning us, 4,200 deaths is misleading, what about the 30,000 wounded, and since our bulletproof gear leaves just the back corner of the neck open a lot of brains partially removed. I couldn’t agree more that the saying “freedom isn’t free,” has about nothing to do with all of our last wars, Pearl Buck grew up in China and started one book by pointing out the Red Chinese didn’t even want to come into Korea until AFTER they warned us to stay away from the Chinese Border with our Army by at least 50 miles- so MacArthur ran right up there and the Chinese were NOT ready for a war with us and tried to run us out of bullets by sending waves after waves of unarmed a men into our machine guns, having to pick through the dead for the first wave that had weapons, and getting killed before they could find a weapon. What kind of thinking can a man have to make him do that? I’m pretty sure because they knew theyed be shot one way or the other. But our guys that gave their lives did so believing they were saving America and never had the chance to realize the WWII vets that told me Vietnam was mistake right away, and the WWII vets now surviving and ALL the Vietnam vets I know now think this is a total waste, for all the reasons given plus. Cheney is running his mouth because now he’s back to work for haliburton (as if he ever quit) and the Republicans started mudslinging for the NEXT election Before they lost this one. It IS UN-American to wish an American President fails. Freedom isn’t free because of thousands of brave dead and wounded that fought mass murderring people to protect it long before we thought OIL was a reason- and again I say, it was to run the price of American oil up. I worked in the oilfield for 7 years and still can’t get people to believe our government is a corrupt screw the people regime. They really do want slavery back, but without having to house or feed us. We have fighter pilots trying to get the flying ones to give up flying and come to the states and kill by satellite pictures from a fleet of drones. they say it’s just as exciting. Well they can’t possibly mean the flying part can they, they mean the surprise killing. War sucks. and with the exception of N.Korea 50 yrs or less later nobody cares. To me that proves it could have been avoided. I don’t believe the Afghani’s want us there either, wehave made folk heroes out of a handful of religious screwballs.

  14. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    Ohesk I’m sorry for running off at the moth again you can just delete it. I got permanently ran off of of Mil.com last month the really hate the truth and since so many people ( I’m guessing) said their rules about what we could or couldn’t say about GW and the war (Their Commander in Chief) pretty funny for a private moneymaking organization full of propaganda were changed to where we could complaign more and more of us are no longer a part of it. I met enough real radicals some even calling for revolution -Vets_ I have some good folks to write to from that site. But if God sent his son here to have the full human experience isn’t it likely he DID? I’ve almost been beat up for saying Jesus wasn’t a Christian. He was a Jew. How can you be a follower of yourself?

  15. Frank Paolo says:

    Delete it?!? Joe, I often think the discussions (many led by you) are MORE interesting than my blog. They just wouldn’t have the audience because people get a chuckle out of some of my stuff and some is strange enough to get noticed. I think of myself as an entertainer – with a few rants thrown in – which -sometimes- can be funny. I have neither the depth nor experience as you but I always try to learn and make others think.

    If I ever get someone to laugh and think at the same time – well, that’s my heaven. (And if some of the private comments I got from my ‘Was J. Gay?’ piece any indication – it’s all the heaven I’ll ever get!)

  16. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    All of your commentors are thinking people, I was still in RANT mode from screwing with the lifers on that other blog when I rudely pissed off Bill. Yeah, it bothers me I was rude to a nice person. I always appologise to my grandson after a disagreement because i’m the old guy that’s supposed to have the sense and I know darn well NOBODY else that ever did him wrong- from the cops to his real family, ever appologised when wrong. We can’t let kids think NOBODY cares and only helps because the court says they have to. I don’t get people that won’t pay child support because they are mad at their mate, what’s that got to do with their kid? I’ve spent more than 30K making sure my wife got to stay in her dead daughters kid’s life. I could do it and the bad guys just pissed me off. He’s turning out kind of like us even in a depression he’s finished high school, and picked up two professional trade licenses- lifeguarding and water treatment (With no experience just book learning on his own) and can’t get a job doing either but he finaly learned to get up in the morning and go to work at 19 because a good freind helped him. In life- our freinds save our butts, that takes honesty and working. We might have done some good in the little time we had each year to make sense to him. The world is a hard place, maybe impossible to figure out. But the kids who went to work durring the last big depression that was much bigger than this one seem to have become wealthy anyway because they learned how to make a buck. He won’t hurt an animal in any way. We let him keep his kitten in the back room where our dog couldn’t get to it with barking day and night for over a month, until the dog felt sorry for the thing and started to play with it. Because his Dad wanted to put the cat to sleep as a nuisance. That’s bullshit, have the animal fixed and feed it. How much does that take? I wish my Mother in law hadn’t trained my dog as a puppy to pee inside on a rug. We use puppy pads but when she’s old and if I die first whose gonna do that for what will by then be my old good dog. Everyone with a dog should look up kidney stones in a dog and from there it will tell you diets that can help a dog live it’s natural life of around 20 yr’s, not ten. That’s from our dog food fortified with wheat and corn- they only put that stuff in it in the 50’s because there was a surplus. And “with Chicken!” usually means crushed up chicken heads and stuff we wouldn’t eat.

  17. Steve says:

    Off subject, cool commentary (and looks like a cool blog)which also refernces a some other commentaries by Shadia Drury (I did a search on her stuff, I even emailed her once, she replied and sent me some more PDFs of her stuff).

    http://sanseverything.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-warrior-ethic-respecting-your-enemy/

  18. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    Steve I checked that out and the part about demonizing the enemy, well it’s hard to get people to kill people they like and the Greeks I studied about a little certainly weren’t pure heterosexuals against bad folks. The world was forming from cities into countries but underestimating your enemy keeps getting us into stuff that’s stupid. I kinda like what I heard Sylvester Stallone said about Iraq the first time when we were being built up to expect thousands and thousands of deaths- boy the way that worked out sure made the freaking well hated idiot Shwartkopf look like a hero for killing a field mouse with a 12 gauge. Hated by the men who knew the men he got killed doing stupid things on the peninsula about 12 miles from me. West point jackoff. Stallone said “If they are that bad then just drop the bomb on them and DON”T get so many of us killed.” like in the civil war, we wait till there’s a new generation piped up on war movies and then go to get the subhuman little people that can’t hardly kill a big American. Saying the war will only take a few months and we’ll be home and they’ll be sorry. About the Greeks and Romans, Hannibal Barcas was trained from childhood to get the Romans, and almost did, from the hate from the 1st Punic war with Carthage. I noticed that right at about ten years it was decided to stop putting money behind his overseas campaign, and except for the brits and french in the 100 yrs war it seems like almost ALL overseas campaigns wear out at around ten years. Could it be that the Men coming of age were by that time just children when it started and just said “Screw THAT!” Had a rag tag bunch of terrorists bombed some other countries major city we would have been using all our power to convince them of the futility of war, that there were better ways. But after 30 yrs and with TV playing the sight over and over and over and over it was like we had most of the country anialated on 9-11. I said then and now, when it makes the media more money to be against it than for it we would be brainwashed again in the other direction. It’s allways about what makes the media more money.

  19. Steve says:

    Right, I’m not saying underestimate our enemies. But if we do have true enemies, it’s the paintnig of them as any less human or different from us (usually with a very wide brush).

    And also, when we are against someone, we paint them as “subhuman”, when we’re not against them, suddenly, we’re buying our cars and radios from them and they’re A-OK, or opening up a factory in their backyard.

    It’s also, I thinik, different from a festering hatred from youth of an occupying force (Rome, UK, US, etc.). If there were some country that had occupied the US since I was five, and I saw them kill my family, friends and destroy my school, work, village, etc. I’d hate them too.
    I saw a 60th anniversay tribute to the City of Hiroshima…there was a Japanese man, who was there…and he saw a US flag…now, he said the last time he saw the US flag was the day we bombed them.
    So, how did he feel about the US for 60 years.

    I agree with you on the media..and in the run up to this ridiculous war, Knight-Ridder was the only media outlet that stepped back and said “Waitaminute, that doesn’t make sense”.

    My favorite (in that I hate it the most) is when people try to justify this war by saying, “Well, nobody wants to go to war, war is awful…but sometimes you have to…it’s like spanking your children, you don’t want to, but…”

    Ah yes, the ol’ “this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you” bit. Hmm, who hurt more, the guys sitting in the Enola Gay, or Hiroshima?

    “Oh, Danny, Danny, I’ve sent boys younger than you to the chair…didn’t want to do it, but felt I owed it to them” : – )

  20. amy stahl says:

    yes, great stuff Again you guys!!!!

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