They Can’t Really Close a Park

In New York, we have some of the most beautiful parks in the United States.  This week we also have some of the most beautiful weather imaginable – Hawaii weather – hardly a cloud in the sky with high temperatures in the ‘80’s and no rain.

Families and couples should be flocking to our parks, right?  Wrong.   Many of our most picturesque parks and historic sites are CLOSED because our proudly-disfunctional legislature and tantrum-throwing governor can’t agree on a budget.  In New York, our budget BY LAW has to be agreed to by April 1st.  But, of course, April 1st is April Fool’s Day –  a traditional holidays for imbeciles, nitwits, pinheads, and members of the New York State Government.

We have a $9-Billion dollar gap in our bloated budget and closing the parks will save an estimated 1/2 of 1% of that.  Even politicians are smart enough to realize the cuts are more symbolic than significant but the Governor is snitting the parks closed anyway.

What can we do about it?  I can’t tell YOU what to do about it – but I’ll tell how I’m going to enjoy this holiday weekend: a friend and I are going to a CLOSED park and grill some burgers and maybe go swimming!  We’ll have someone drop us off so cops (on double-time holiday pay) can’t give us a parking ticket. We’ll pick up our own litter and make sure our fire is out when we leave.

Will cops and State Troopers organize patrols to find us in the picnic areas and beaches?  Probably not.  What will they do if they catch us?  Give us a ticket for trespassing in our own park?  I’d proudly hang it on my wall and send copies to my friends.

Do you know what will bother me most about my anticipated adventure?  I don’t really care for the outdoors all that much and don’t like eating outside at all.  But something tells me a burger cooked with freedom from government lunacy might taste pretty good.

Hope to see you out there!

3 Responses to “They Can’t Really Close a Park”

  1. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    No doubt that would be the freest feeling chunk of dead rotting cowmeat (Maybe) you will ever get to swallow hopefully just once!. If you could get a small piglet or something you could cut to look ala Jeffry Dahmer if you got caught that would be a real hoot. You know, get a $.50C toy diamond ring from a corner store and stick it on a “finger.” Or just pull up to some real wealthy house with a “For Sale” sign on it and tell the cops you just bought it. Dress like crap and make faces at the new neighbors. The law on drinking in public only applies to public owned property-check it out first for your area though so you can quote it to the cop. Tell ’em,”Me no Hablo!”

  2. Bill says:

    The politicians are afraid to raise taxes or make spending cuts because John Q Public will throw a tantrum. A lot of people have ideas that will make tiny dents in the problem, but each idea is opposed by powerful pressure groups.

    As a people, Americans are spoiled. We spend every penny we make and then some. When times are good, we’re able to keep afloat–barely. When the economy tanks, we have no reserves to draw upon.

    SUVs, McMansions, feasts, and every electronc device under the sun. What for? Our parents saved their surpluses; we squandor ours, and then cry boo hoo when times get rough.

    Politicians and voters both make me sick. (You can see I’m in a good mood).

  3. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    Yes Bill, but your right. We remember the folks that made it through the first real bad depression and espescially how they talked to us about the NEXT depression. Like Wars-world and otherwise-over half of our youth has never seen failure. So it can’t possibly happen, right.
    In this society the working man is considerred LAZY. That’s right-brickmasons and cement haulers in wheelbarrows 12 hours a day are LAZY. Because to todays people if they hadn’t been lazy they would have stayed in school.
    We have a park here at the old pre-civil war and Civil War Union Fort overlooking the deepwater pass to Florida’s only deepwater port for many many years. Everyone in town and in the campground there that pays close attention knows they always closed the galvanized bar gate at sunset.
    Around 30 or more years ago the place was visited by the Hells Angels and they behaved to have a good time just chilling out in the campground in Fla.
    At sunset the bar/gate was closed and a little while later a biker was killed because the bar was just head high to a motorcycle. The town was so small and a bridge to it just openned that they just assumed everyone knew about the gate closing. And the club never came back, but the gate wasn’t closed to tell them not to, just a FUBAR.

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