There IS Someone for Everyone

Remember Paul Karason, the 57-year old man from Oregon who turned Blue? He had a bad case of bad skin (although I now suspect that may have been the least of his worries). To treat his condition, he started drinking a substance called colloidal silver which is made by extracting silver from metal by electricity. Mr. Karason thought it would clear his skin. Where he got this idea is unclear but one suspects it was not recommended by the FDA.

Mr. Karason persistently drank his potion for over 10-years turning a deep shade of blue. If I were his friend during that time, I might have asked him to stop at a powder blue or a teale – but he probably wouldn’t have listened anyway. Also, there doesn’t seem to be a Mrs. Karason around which is understandable because who wants a spouse who’s always blue?

Anyway, I’ve thought of Mr. K. quite often since I saw the story. He continues to drink colloidal silver and I continue to worry about him finding an understanding soulmate – until yesterday.

Yesterday I read about a young woman who wanted to be Orange.  This lady, (let’s call her “O”) did some research and read that humans can turn orange if they eat excessive amounts of carotene, a substance most commonly found in carrots. So “O” immediately started eating and drinking carrots ONLY – for a period of 30-days. And, yes, she DID turn orange!

Now no one (except me) has suggested these two might consider the possibility of a romantic liaison – but why not!? They certainly have enough in common to color each other’s world and it’s not exactly like white, black, or yellow people are lining up to mix with their paints. So what’s the problem? Children?

Well I’ve played with a color chart and mixed the percentages based on my extensive knowledge of genetics and color. The color with which I came up is kind of a brownish-mauve – not a bad color for kids. Maybe after a few generations, there would be a new mixed breed of people called Mauvottos.

Or, because I thought of the idea, I would be honored if the new offspring were called Paolottos.

3 Responses to “There IS Someone for Everyone”

  1. Joe Bele-Isle says:

    Booze in Mexico is CHEAP!! No US Taxes. I started one night with beer and tequilla, followed by a bottle of rum for the trip home and dropped it and got a bottle of mexican wine that went down like water and finished it with Creme-De Menthe.
    I couldn’t “Fall In,” the next morning for Formation and a Sgt. was checking the latrines and saw my feet and orderred me , “OUT OF THERE!” to FALL IN!
    But, i exclaimed, I had fallen in.. And was shitting green.
    PHARROOOP!! SPLAT SPLAT, “OHHHH!!!!” BARF- SUHPULOOOOOOT!! poot.
    “Get the hell out of there and fall in!”
    “But I’m shitting GREEN!!”
    “The hell with that!” he started, and I stood up and openned the door and showed him the commode.
    “Just STAY where you ARE!!”
    “OK>”
    Your not gonna die are you?”
    “I hope not.”
    “Well you look like your dieing. I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
    “I don’t think I can fall in.”
    “Just make sure you don’t fall in, or come out, either!”
    Colors can be so interesting. When color blind people get sick it must be boring.

  2. Bill says:

    You can turn a really deep shade of yellow by drinking enough to cause serious liver damage. There are also plants whose sap and/or bi-products can turn you red or deep blue if you handle them enough. If you don’t mind a little discomfort, you can get a full body tattoo in any color you want.

    Please note, all of the above options, including the actions of Mr Blue and Ms Yellow, are extremely hazardous. I think I’ll stick to basic fishbelly , thanks.

  3. Joe Bele-Isle says:

    Red Gatorade, like they fill the drinking water tanks on real hot 110 degree pluss construction jobs can make your urine blood red. I never figured that one out but they gave me some good pain meds for kidney stones.

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