The MOST annoying TV Shill

It took me awhile to figure out why Jimmy Dean’s Breakfast Sun gave me such a negative, stomach – wrenching reaction. At first I thought it was the guy’s insipid, cheery prattle about why it’s better to eat a gob of microwaved, spiced turkey and pig guts mixed with fake eggs – instead of cereal in the morning. But that wasn’t it.

Then I thought it was because the nitwit has a superior, “sunny- bright” attitude even though he’s mincing around in a goofy, stuffed-sun costume which couldn’t win third place in a grade school Halloween contest. But that wasn’t it either.

Finally I discovered what makes me queasy the instant I see these spots: the damn dolt is so SERIOUS about this fluff. When he delivers a line like “Guys, I have to illuminate the entire eastern seaboard in 15- minutes,” he does it with a studied, earnest sincerity that makes me want to heave. I’d like to say,

“Hey Buddy, don’t get pissy with anyone who doesn’t chow down your greasy, concoction of coagulated crap – save your bile for the shyster agent who convinced you to take this lousy job in the first place.”

5 Responses to “The MOST annoying TV Shill”

  1. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    Damn man your hard hard hard. If the Dolt has a contract to light up the eastern seaboard AND cook Jimmy Deans greasiest sausage in the country (True), get ya tanned for vancer AND raise your cholesterol to help in just 15 minutes CUT HIM SOME SLACK!! Nobody else is trying so hard to kill you yet there you are everyday.

  2. paolo. says:

    !!! LMAO!!!

  3. amy says:

    I love this one.

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