Thanksgiving Is A Turkey

“And we’ll trade you a drumstick for $1000 in chips at Seneca Casino.”

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving – the Great American Pig-Out. A holiday devoted to unabashed gluttony. Which is kind of funny in America.

Why a nation founded by religious zealots would choose one of the SEVEN DEADLY SINS as a way to celebrate is a little strange. Also, turkeys are a meat entree no one would choose if the menu included steaks, chops, and shrimp. Tradition always demands unthinking, repetitive rituals which prohibit creativity and originality.

So I came up with an idea to make us appear less mindlessly traditional and hypocritical.

For a national holiday, maybe we could change it up a bit featuring a different deadly sin every year. I went through the list of the others – greed, sloth, wrath, lust, envy, and pride – and I have a personal favorite for next year’s star sin: lust.

Lust has kind of a bad reputation in America but that’s why it needs a national holiday.  How would we celebrate it?  The possibilities are endless but I haven’t worked out all the details yet.

Next year on Thanksgiving would you rather be hungry – or horny?  Wait! This is America – let’s celebrate both!

6 Responses to “Thanksgiving Is A Turkey”

  1. Bill says:

    Lust? With my sisters and nieces?

    On a more serious note, Americans used to eat sparingly and would pig out only on special occasions. Now, they pig out just about every day, so the Nov hogfest does seem a bit pointless.

    My Italian friends generally serve lasagna, my Hispanic friends serve some kind of bean, corn, and squash concoction, and my sister serves prime rib. About the only time I get turkey is when I stop at the deli or look in the mirror.

  2. paolo. says:

    In a survey conducted by the National Turkey Federation, nearly 88 percent of
    Americans said they eat turkey at Thanksgiving.

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