Take My Wife … Please

"Pssst. Who's the after-dinner speaker?"

Was Jesus married? There were some rumors swirling around yesterday but a Church spokesperson was quoted as saying, “Maybe – but don’t get any ideas about ordaining women, buddy.”

The Bible doesn’t really say anything one way or the other about Jesus’ wife but this certainly brings up a lot of questions. For example, how did the woman get along with her Father-in-law? Did the Christs ever argue or send Christmas cards? Did they have cute nicknames for each other?

Anyway, all this started with a Harvard Divinity School professor. She (well, of course it was a ‘she’) was given a piece of ancient paper written in Coptic (Egyptian Christian.) She’s calling it “The Gospel of Jesus’ Wife.” In her interpretation, Jesus  talks about a woman and refers to her as his wife – not “My Better Half” nor “My Ball and Chain” nor “My Old Lady” – his WIFE.

Of course this is going to rankle fundamentalist Christians who don’t like to hear “their Bible” questioned. I think they should be happy.  Many people, including the guy who cuts my hair, believe Jesus was gay.

10 Responses to “Take My Wife … Please”

  1. Bill says:

    Most people believe whatever they want without regard to evidence or reality. Human beings are just marginally more intelligent than the other animals; we’re not much to write home about, really.

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  4. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    My dog is smarter than my wife OR I am. She (The dog to be specific) get someone to feed her, scratch her, pay her Dr. bills. Unless she’s headed specificly for my My wife to lay down next to and not my easy chair I even wipe her butt. And the dog would even return the favor by licking my behind clean if it didn’t tickle so much. She can lick her own crotch and several sets of tits and very few women can do that. Her TV is free. She even has us for podiatrists.
    In return all she has to do is see to it that no animal in the great outdoors can into my house. And tell jokes.

  5. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    And of course Jesus had a wife. I don’t know any Mexicans named Jesus that don’t have a wife that gets everything my dog does-PLUS as the old song goes, Memorize tha cracks on the Bedroom ceiling and bite herself. Wag her tail maybe, even get someone ELSE to lisk on her nipples and get a free tongue bath from her husband AND her dog.

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