Posts Tagged ‘Rush’

Right Wing – Wrong Time

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

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I like RightWing wing nuts about as much as I like LeftWing wing nuts which is not much at all. But I’m really beginning to feel sorry for the Righties because they keep getting pounded.

 

Last November they had to ride into the election on the top of two stupid wars, a crashing economy, a crumbling health care system, a moderate Presidential candidate who promised more of the same, and a Vice-Presidential nominee who thought it OK to be interviewed in front of a turkey beheading machine only to have her office later deny that she thought it a good idea.

 

Lipstick Sarah was a contender to be the Right’s spokesperson focusing on Patriotism and Family Values. But then Daughter announced she had a case of the pre-wed pregs – promised Mom she’d get married after the election – only to discover that the tattooed/pierced high school honey is someone no one wants in the family anyway. Uh-oh.

 

Then Saint O plus his beautiful wife plus his Kodak-charming kids plus his new, cute dog glitter into the White House and he begins spending money like he’s got a printing press across the street; which, of course, he has. Now no one knows if any of this is going to work but until the bills start coming in, O’s approval ratings are shooting past the Hubble Telescope and when the Righties talk about fiscal responsibility, they sound like the evil stepchildren of the Wicked Witch of the West and Ebeneezer Scrooge – and smell like a big Rush of flatulence.

 

The bell rings and expanded embryonic research scores a hard left hook to the jaws of the Right and then lowering the age for non-prescription birth control to 17 knocks them into the ropes. Just when we thought the fight was over, a surprise Angel floats to the Right’s corner off the shoulders of Donald Trump.

 

Carrie Pre-jeans (could there be a better name to remind us of what women were supposed to be like before the ‘60’s?) takes a strong, Conservative stand against gay marriage which represents how three out of four Americans feel – and it looks like the Right is a contender again. But then some topless pictures of Angel ooze out of hiding, she actually called them a ‘wardrobe malfunction’, and the RightWingers have omelets on their faces again.

 

What should they do now? Nothing. Rush, Savage, Coulter, and Drudge should just shut up and let the LeftWing nuts speak. How long do you think it will take Al Franken, Jeanette Garofalo and their kind to say or do something REALLY dumb? A week? Maybe two?

 

If there’s one thing you can count on from WingNuts on either side of the political spectrum, it’s that they’re programmed to do something really stupid. Just wait a minute.

 

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Rush of Flatulence

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

Here’s the problem: your ratings are falling faster than the hairs out of your fat head. Your political opinions are now less relevant than those of Andy Rooney and even his voice is less irritating. Since W flew away, your chances of ever again going to a White House dinner rival those of Sirhan Sirhan. And after years of lecturing about the evils of drugs, it’s discovered you’re a drug-addicted, hypocriticotten-oxymoron.

It’s even rumored the 3rd Mrs. Rush was in no rush to give you a rush because it was probably your foot that was being sought by Senator Larry Craig in a mens bathroom stall in the Minneapolis Airport.

Not surprisingly, many young conservatives are embarrassed by you. Bill O’Reilly is sharper and has a better sense of humor. And George Will has more class in his upturned pinkie than you have in your entire fat ass.

So what’s a downward-spiraling old radio, hambone going to do?

How about saying you hope Barrack Obama (and thereby the country) will FAIL?

What!?

Sadly America, this is what it’s come to. Last Friday night on his radio show Limbaugh said, “I disagree with the people on our [Republican] side of the aisle who have caved and who say, ‘Well, I hope ..Obama… succeeds….(not me) I hope he fails.” In fairness, it should be noted that many responsible conservatives were quick to diassociate themselves from this pompous colostomy bag full of crap.

Hell hath no fury like a rapidly-sinking disc jockey of irrelevant bullshit.

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