Posts Tagged ‘Naked Hiking Day’

“But he left without his hiking clothes!”

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

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You were born nude, remember? And what’s the first thing they did after slapping you? They quickly slammed you into swaddling clothes that were so tight, they would make straight-jackets feel like tents. “Cover up your naked, shameful, disgusting body,” was the message. And it was pounded into us so many times, there are still some brain-dead people-pretenders who will only get naked IN THE DARK – even when they’re alone.

I bring this up (just in passing) because I was reminded of it last week when South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, a Conservative Republican, disappeared for few days without telling his wife, his family, his security people, and apparently, anyone else. Of course everyone tried to pretend to be calm before the cameras – but you just knew everyone was saying “JESUS F CHRIST! WHERE THE HELL IS HE!?” Although no new milk cartons were printed up, there actually was an informal meeting of South Carolina leaders to discuss ‘succession’ – just in case.

Finally, yesterday, Governor Sanford’s spokesman, Joel Sawyer expressed remorse for not divulging details earlier (as if he knew them). “The governor is hiking along the Appalachian Trail,” Sawyer said. “I apologize for taking so long to uhhh… make this announcement…”

Right. The story, however, goes beyond, “Governor Nutcase Takes a Hike”. Sunday was Fathers’ Day and Sanford’s kids might have wondered ‘what happened to Daddy’? But MORE important, the day on which Governor Sanford was hiking is also “National Naked Hiking Day”. This annual event is celebrated on the first day of summer when many people celebrate the solstice by hiking au naturel.

“Didn’t that guy look familiar? I remember his face – but I can’t quite place his…..”

Sexual repression leads to strange behavior – and, it seems to me, this was one strange hike.