Posts Tagged ‘Kelly Rippa Nude’

In 2009, I Ended My Affair With Kelly Rippa

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

Kelly Rippa nude (from memory.)

I’m sorry, Pretty, but the guilt is crushing me. I must tell.

ENQUIRER was right. Yes – I’m having an affair with Kelly Rippa. We meet almost every day for an hour at my place, here in Rochester. And when I’m in New York, Kelly books a suite for us at the Waldorf-Astoria (or “Wallass” as we call it – private joke). She only books it for three hours because she’s smart with her money. Of course, in reality, she’d only have to book it for 3-minutes or so – but she tells me it’s the hottest 3-minutes she’s ever felt!

I KNOW it’s wrong – I KNOW! But can the mind say “No.” when the heart says, “Yes, yes YES!”?

I know you’re thinking, amazed readers, she’s not the type of woman with whom you picture me. There’s the age thing, of course (she’s older than most of the women I’ve ever dated) and superficially she seems very superficial but under that naturally, streaked blond hair, resides a shrewd businesswoman’s brain which, along with her obvious talent, looks and personality, has helped Ms. Kelly earn something like $30-million a year. (Beat THAT Brenda Lipshitz!)

Kelly happily chirps on in the morning like a robin in spring – on coke. (Oh, I just heard her tell Regis her Father taught her to drive – with difficulty. She told me the REAL reason: she found it hard to get used to the front seat!)

What’s she like in person? Kelly is just like you see her on TV – funny, smart, quick, supportive of “Rege” (he’s about 105 years old now – Willard Scott gave him a birthday greeting years ago)…..and, yes, astoundingly, goddess-like, BEAUTIFUL. All the magazines rate her one of America’s Top 10 Beautiful and Sexy Women.

Kelly and I always laugh at her incredible “beauty”. Sometimes she waves her feet in the air and yells, “Beautiful? What about THESE?” And it’s true she has the biggest feet in show business – but I love her more for that! It makes her almost human. (We laughingly call her feet – “flippers” – private joke.)

Anyway, it has to be over, Kelly. It’s the right thing NOT to do. And although I don’t want you to call me anymore, you’ll ALWAYS have a place in my heart. Good bye Kelly, my sweet “SCAF”.


More Kelly Rippa pictures:

Kelly Ripa Nude

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010


This is one of the few genuine Kelly Ripa nude pictures in the world.  I drew it from memory.  Some people were offended by its raw, hungry nakedness so here is the PG-13 Version.  Ahhh, memories.

Offended by my Kelly Ripa Nude Picture?

Thursday, September 10th, 2009



This is one of the few genuine Kelly Ripa nude pictures in the world.  I drew it from memory.  Some people were offended by its raw, hungry nakedness so here is the PG-13 Version.  Ahhh, memories.

Kelly is never nude at:

Did a Star Give You the Clap?

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009


What’s this silliness when performers receive a round of applause and then start clapping back to the audience? Now it’s beginning to happen EVERY time and it’s getting really annoying. Of course by now, you’d figure every empty-headed actor and actress would be doing it because they see everyone else doing it, but when Dustin Hoffman, Ellen DeGeneres, and my ex-lover Kelly Rippa does it, I’m COMPELLED to speak up.

Who started this lunacy and for what reason? If that person is ever discovered, I think he should be given a dose of the clap and be forced to watch modern situation comedies WITHOUT their canned laugh-traks. Clap over these, buddy!

What are entertainers “saying” when they give back the clap?

A. “Well, YES – I am a helluva performer – but your paltry applause hardly does justice to my magnificent talent. Here – I’ll help you by clapping for myself! God, I’m GREAT!” -or-

B. “Oh, stop! YOU are the REAL heroes – the ones who pay out your hard- earned cash for my less-than-worthy talents” (they’re being more honest than modest here). -or-

C. “Applaud me? Nay, I shall applaud you! We’re all equal here. Even though I make 10-kazillion bucks a year – and you have to wait hours in line for free tickets to be a TV prop called ‘audience’, there’s no difference in the eyes of the Lord. I LOVE the little people! God bless you each and every one!”

Every entertainer who gives an audience a clap-back should be given ‘The Clapper’ for Christmas AND NOTHING ELSE. Then they can clap and not look so stupid.

If an audience has never clapped for you, come to:

Kelly Ripa NUDE (From Memory*)

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

My post yesterday dealt with American sexual hypocrisy. It seems we’ve always been a society of Pilgrim Perverts pointing fingers at anyone who enjoys what is one of the most enjoyable aspects of human life.

When I was growing up Catholic, sex was for having babies only, masturbation was a mortal sin (punishable by an eternity in hell), and nuns were “married” to Jesus (polygamy at its dullest). I guess the ‘church’ has lightened up a bit on that crap – but only after polluting the minds of hundreds of millions of children for centuries. And they, of course, passed it on to their children …. ad nauseum. Sexual repression has a big price tag. Victorian England spawned the practices of Sadism/ Masochism and Bondage/ Discipline among other tangental sexual sports. And the sickness of the Catholic church resulted in countless alter boy adventures.

Yesterday I saw an example of what sexual starvation can lead to. My Blog Counter went nuts over my “Red, White, and Blue Balls” post – literally hundreds MORE surfers came to my site! I couldn’t figure it out until I checked the ‘Key Words’ which drove them here. What were they? “Nastia Liukin Nude” – even though I said I was JUST KIDDING.

It’s kind of sad really. Hundreds of people on the net trying to get a peek at the 20-year old’s bobo. I shouldn’t have been surprised – after all, this is the nation which freaked over LaToya Jackson’s nip slip and Hannah Montana’s (god knows what).

So today I’m running my Kelly Nude (From Memory) – it just might overload my blog’s server. And the REAL SAD fact is, in the dark, we all look pretty much alike (except in our minds).


*Yes, I had an affair with Kelly. After this article you might wish to Copy & Paste into my ‘Search’ box: Having An Affair.