Posts Tagged ‘Kelly Ripa Nude’

I Had An Affair With Kelly Ripa

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012

Kelly Nude (from memory)

Four years ago I had to end my affair with Kelly Ripa.  I miss her still.

I’m sorry, Pretty, but the guilt is crushing me. I must tell.

ENQUIRER was right. Yes – I’m having an affair with Kelly Ripa. We meet almost every day for an hour at my place, here in Rochester. And when I’m in New York, Kelly books a suite for us at the Waldorf-Astoria (or “Wallass” as we call it – private joke). She only books it for three hours because she’s smart with her money. Of course, in reality, she’d only have to book it for 3-minutes or so – but she tells me it’s the hottest 3-minutes she’s ever felt!

I KNOW it’s wrong – I KNOW! But can the mind say “No.” when the heart says, “Yes, yes YES!”?

I know you’re thinking, amazed readers, she’s not the type of woman with whom you picture me. There’s the age thing, of course (she’s older than most of the women I’ve ever dated) and she seems very superficial.  But under that naturally, streaked blond hair resides a shrewd businesswoman’s brain which, along with her obvious talent, looks and personality, has helped Kelly earn about $40-million last year. (Beat THAT Brenda Lipshitz!)

Kelly happily chirps on in the morning like a robin in spring – on coke. (Oh, I just heard her say her Father taught her to drive – with difficulty. She told me the REAL reason: she found it hard to get used to the front seat!)

What’s she like in person? Kelly is just like you see her on TV – funny, smart, quick…..and, yes, astoundingly, goddess-like, BEAUTIFUL. All the magazines rate her one of America’s Top 10 Beautiful and Sexy Women.

Kelly and I always laugh at her incredible “beauty”. Sometimes she waves her feet in the air and yells, “Beautiful? What about THESE?” And it’s true she has the biggest feet in show business – but I love her more for that! It makes her almost human. (We laughingly call her feet – “flippers” – private joke.)

Anyway, it has to be over, Kelly. It’s the right thing NOT to do. And although I don’t want you to call me anymore, you’ll ALWAYS have a place in my heart. Good bye Kelly, my sweet “SCAF”.


Kelly Ripa Nude

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010


This is one of the few genuine Kelly Ripa nude pictures in the world.  I drew it from memory.  Some people were offended by its raw, hungry nakedness so here is the PG-13 Version.  Ahhh, memories.

What Do These Women Have in Common?

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

1.Kelly Ripa Nude (from memory)

2.Megan Marshack (woman under Nelson Rockefeller when he died, 1979)

3.Carla Bruni (former model; now 1st Lady of France)

The massive Google search engine doesn’t send a lot of people my way.  Out of the 125,000+ hits “Everyone” has had since I began, less than 5% worldwide have come from Google key words.  I have no idea how the rest of you got here but many are repeat offenders. Thank you.

The order above represents the relative popularity of the Google hits I’ve received.  Obviously sex and pretty women drive people to websites.  Most, I assume, are men.

I’m thinking that if I can arrange some sort of erotic encounter with these three women together – I could have more hits than Disney.

Offended by my Kelly Ripa Nude Picture?

Thursday, September 10th, 2009



This is one of the few genuine Kelly Ripa nude pictures in the world.  I drew it from memory.  Some people were offended by its raw, hungry nakedness so here is the PG-13 Version.  Ahhh, memories.

Kelly is never nude at:

WARNING: Swine Flu Pandemic!

Monday, April 27th, 2009


The Center for Disease Control stated that Swine Flu  is passed by a person touching a surface that’s been contaminated with the virus  – and then touching his eyes, mouth, or nose.  The CDC recommends washing your hands much more frequently with soap and hot water for at least 20-seconds.  Paolo recommends keeping your damn fingers OUT of your eyes, mouth, and  nose.

Presented as a Public Service Message by “EVERYONE’S ENTITLED TO MY OPINION”

Kelly Rippa NUDE (From Memory*)

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

*Yes, I had an affair with Kelly.  You might wish to Copy & Paste into my ‘Search’ box: Having An Affair

Offended By My Kelly Ripa Nude post? Here:

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Kelly Ripa Nude (From Memory)


Kelly Ripa NUDE (From Memory*)

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

My post yesterday dealt with American sexual hypocrisy. It seems we’ve always been a society of Pilgrim Perverts pointing fingers at anyone who enjoys what is one of the most enjoyable aspects of human life.

When I was growing up Catholic, sex was for having babies only, masturbation was a mortal sin (punishable by an eternity in hell), and nuns were “married” to Jesus (polygamy at its dullest). I guess the ‘church’ has lightened up a bit on that crap – but only after polluting the minds of hundreds of millions of children for centuries. And they, of course, passed it on to their children …. ad nauseum. Sexual repression has a big price tag. Victorian England spawned the practices of Sadism/ Masochism and Bondage/ Discipline among other tangental sexual sports. And the sickness of the Catholic church resulted in countless alter boy adventures.

Yesterday I saw an example of what sexual starvation can lead to. My Blog Counter went nuts over my “Red, White, and Blue Balls” post – literally hundreds MORE surfers came to my site! I couldn’t figure it out until I checked the ‘Key Words’ which drove them here. What were they? “Nastia Liukin Nude” – even though I said I was JUST KIDDING.

It’s kind of sad really. Hundreds of people on the net trying to get a peek at the 20-year old’s bobo. I shouldn’t have been surprised – after all, this is the nation which freaked over LaToya Jackson’s nip slip and Hannah Montana’s (god knows what).

So today I’m running my Kelly Nude (From Memory) – it just might overload my blog’s server. And the REAL SAD fact is, in the dark, we all look pretty much alike (except in our minds).


*Yes, I had an affair with Kelly. After this article you might wish to Copy & Paste into my ‘Search’ box: Having An Affair.

Red, White, & Blue Balls

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

What Americans Teach Their Kids About Sex:

“Sex is a dirty, shameful thing. Make sure you
save it for someone you love. Any questions?”


Tomorrow: Nastia Liukin NUDE (JUST KIDDING!) Kelly Ripa NUDE (NOT KIDDING!)