Posts Tagged ‘gas prices’

A Nation of Spoiled Crybabies

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

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Finally the Memorial Day long weekend is over and maybe we can get a break from whining snivelers – at least until summer vacations begin. On network news:

“We used to drive to Aunt Hilda’s (two states away) every Memorial Day but this year we just can’t afford the gas!”

“The airlines are stuffing us in like sardines and my flight will be late! I take this trip every year but never again.”

“We can’t afford to go anywhere in the RV. I guess we’ll just stay home.”

Awwwww. What sacrifices we have to make in the real world! So Congress drags before one of its committees a gaggle of oil executives who made “obscene” profits off American consumers. (Are the cameras on?) “Do you know what you’re doing to this nation’s families?” blubbers a tearful Congressman.

Oil exec looks confused. If we could put a microphone into the man’s mind he would say, “Uh, yuh. I’m making a profit for the shareholders of my company and providing thousands of jobs as we compete in the world market place. Now YOU are just sucking up to the local voters – just as you did years ago when we asked you for more drilling rights in Alaska and other ‘Forever Wild’ regions. I may be a corporate pig but at least I’m not a goddam hypocritical leech sucking off the taxpayer’s teat as I ask all of us “pigs” for contributions to my lousy election campaigns!”

America: we will NEVER again have cheap gasoline and heating fuel. GET — USED TO IT and STOP SNIVELING! We are still the only country in the world where the poor have color television sets and cable. FOR CHRISSAKES – if you can’t appreciate what we have, at least be thankful we don’t get what we deserve.

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You Are So Fuelish!

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

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If I hear one more recycled “environmentalist” whining about the high cost of gas while driving a guzzler, you may see my reaction on the national news. In 1978, I worked for an ad agency which had the RG&E account. I was the only writer who was willing to create an ad that advocated nuclear power in a mix with more fossil fuel, budding alternative energies like solar power, and conservation.

My reasoning was simple: the more America depended on oil from foreign countries, the weaker we would become and more likely to start wars with nations which sat on the oil to which we’d become addicted. Of course my hippie friends called me a ‘capitalist pig’ and sneered when they passed me a joint. And you may think I’m too big a person to say, I told you so – but

I TOLD YOU SO!

So suck it up, snivelers – whine all the way to the athletic clubs, first run movies, kids’ soccer practice, and the ritzy restaurants you seem to favor.

Now, what’s that I hear? “Oooh, Franco. We’re sorry! Please tell us how we can get gas down to $3/gallon again. We’ll listen this time!”

All right. I’m big on forgiveness this month – the Pope was around. Do you really want to get gas back to $3/gallon? Drive 25% less – your weekly gas bill will be the same as if the pump price were 3-bucks. Simple. Now stop whining!

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