Posts Tagged ‘Dull’

Don’t BORE Audiences to Death

Sunday, August 3rd, 2008


Death by Powerpoint? Naw…Powerpoint may be one weapon – but the KILLER is the PRESENTER. And Presenters have an ARSENAL of weapons: dull data dumps, going on way too long, speaking like they’re ordering parts for their furnace, showing the audience their best side by talking to the screen, putting up dumb Dilbert cartoons, checking their humanness at the door with their coats, hiding behind the podium, babbling pointless, irrelevant horsecrap, talking techie….need I go on? I know I don’t have to because YOU are an EXPERT at dull presentations – you’ve listened to enough of them, haven’t you?

WEAPONS OF MASS DISINTEREST. You are clobbered with them every time some dullard lights up the screen with visuals he hopes will do HIS job. You HATE WMD’s!


If you want to be a GREAT PRESENTER, you must be distinctively different in a professional way. How can you do that? That’s what we’ll be talking about each week in my Sunday School of Speaking – The Church of Better Day Talks.

For now, a good start will be from my website, Just Copy & Paste into your browser’s Search Box. Here you’ll see three ‘Emergency’ ideas for a Great Presentation:

1. Slash the Details like a Drunken Pirate.

2. Memorize a strong 30 second Opening.

3. Speak Twice as Loud as You Think You Should.

And next week, I’d appreciate it if you came to my Church dressed a little better. Thank you.


Tomorrow: Al Roker Drives Me Nuts!

Nader for NOTHING

Sunday, February 24th, 2008


Ralph Nader is limping for President again. He’s tried two times before – and he’ll probably do as well this time. Some liberals blame him as a ‘spoiler’ in the Gore-Bush 2000 campaign – because if his people had voted for Gore in Florida, Bush wouldn’t have won that state and the election.

I don’t dislike him for that.

Conservatives hate him because he’s a socialist democrat who would heavily tax the rich and the working non-rich alike – and give it to the undeserving poor.

I don’t dislike him for that either.

I dislike Ralph Nader because he’s a self-righteous bore with a gloom and doom puss and a voice that can put manics to sleep. Have you ever seen this man smile? Has ANYONE ever seen this man smile? Ralph always walks around frowning, wringing his hands, with a skyful of black clouds over his head. He’s duller than Allan Greenspan and John McCain put together! Maybe you could invite him to your next party – just in case anyone is having a good time.

C’MON, RALPH – WAKE UP, WOULDJA? Do a few lines, shoot some meth, smoke some crack – ANYTHING – so that undertaker with a shovel walking behind you doesn’t have to keep asking, “Now? Is it time now? Is it time now?”