Posts Tagged ‘Dick Cheney’

Chatty Cheney

Friday, May 22nd, 2009


When Dick Cheney was Vice President, we rarely heard him speak.  He spoke about as much as Calvin Coolidge who hardly spoke at all. Once, when a man said he made a $10 bet if he could get the President to say more than 2-words, Cal said, “You lose.”

Cheney used to be like that. Today, you’d have to slap him to shut him  up. His diarrhea of the mouth dumps on the Obama administration as he tries to justify the cockeyed war in Iraq. He’s a much better shot at anything positive than he was at anything quail.

Before becoming Vice President, Cheney was the head of Halliburton, the private company which, without question, has made more profits (by far) than any other company in our war against Iraq and our rebuilding of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Of course, awarding contracts without competitive bidding didn’t hurt the company.  Before he became Vice President, Cheney owned stock options in Halliburton worth $241, 498. Today those options are worth more than $8-million – an impressive 3,281% increase in a bad economy. Cheney has pledged to give these profits to charity. I hereby pledge to lose 20-pounds of weight in the next 10-minutes.

The Clintons made untold $zillions from Whitewater and other financial ventures and Ronald Reagan once was paid $1-million for one post-presidential speech in Japan without his “Breakfast for Bonzo” trailers. And although they’re nicer crooks, I doubt if Michelle Obama will be clipping coupons when she leaves the White House.

Oh, I’m sorry. Are you feeling patriotic this weekend? Maybe you should believe in mainstream politics. At one time you believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Warren Commission. How’d that work out for you?


Kennedy Should’ve Been So Lucky

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

A Mobile, Mississippi woman – who was shot in the head on April 14th, not only survived – but immediately made herself tea and offered some to an astonished police officer, authorities said Friday.

Tammy Sexton, 47, remained hospitalized after being wounded by her husband, who killed himself after he shot his wife. She is expected to fully recover.

The slug from a .380-caliber handgun struck Ms. Sexton squarely in the forehead, passed through her skull and exited through the back of her head apparently striking no vital organs. A deputy arrived within minutes and was greeted by the woman. Ms. Sexton was conscious but appeared confused about what happened. `What’s going on?’ she asked.

Hospital officials would not comment on the report that Ms. Sexton was immediately contacted by ex-Vice President Richard Cheney’s office offering her a position as his new Chief of Staff.