Posts Tagged ‘creeps me out’

Angelina Jolie to Adopt Octopussy’s 8 Kids!

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

OK, I made that up – but can this story get any stranger? Nadya Suleman is the California woman who had eight babies at one time – in addition to the six she already has. The babies were artificially inseminated in a Petri dish. Now for those of you who are 6-th grade biologically-challenged, that means some gynecologist-pregnancy expert put eight female eggs into a beaker, dumped in zillions of sperm, and hoped one or two would be Olympic-caliber swimmers. Then SURPRISE! – eight of the microscopic human tadpoles got lucky and scored.

Uh-oh. Now what? Artificial insemination technology is now so far advanced – you don’t have to throw a dozen wet noodles against the wall and hope one or two stick – regardless of the mother’s ability to carry to term her hoped for spawn. So why was this guy going for the brass ring – especially when the single mom already had SIX KIDS?!? And who had the unpleasant job of saying, “Uh, Ms. Suleman – the procedure worked! The bad news is it worked eight times.”

Of course, Momma Suleman (who may not be a candidate for Mental Health Citizen of the Year and MAY have had plastic surgery to look more like Angelina Jolie) says “Bring it on! I’ll be the first mother in history to have eight kids at once!” So she shoots out enough babies to grab a majority vote on the Los Angeles City Council and the broke State of California pays $3.5-million dollars for the birthing operation ALONE!

And then the reports/rumors started. Was she really paid $165,000 to chat in her first TV interview? Is she on food stamps? Did she really say, “Sex creeps me out. I haven’t had it in over 7-years?” Did Angelina J. really say (despite receiving a number of fan letters from Ms. Octuplets) “This lady creeps me out.” And didn’t her own Mom say, “Well how long can you resent your own daughter?” And what the hell is the hourly charge for babysitting fourteen kids anyway?

OK, I’m no candidate for Mental Health Citizen of the Year either – but I’m not passing it on! And I do know that someone wrote a ‘Letter to the Editor’ today in our newspaper saying Ms. Shulman should be considered a “HERO” for not having an abortion.

HELP! HELP! – This planet is holding me hostage!!!