Posts Tagged ‘cliches’

Phrase Malaise

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

I woke up annoyed. I don’t know what I was dreaming, or – if my Cats chased each other across my head a few times (again), but this morning, I had to decide between a 3-state killing spree or writing in this blog. I chose the blog because I would never want to kill anybody – and those sprees must take a lot of energy and tanks of gas. And with the price of gasoline these days…anyway…

I was already annoyed when I turned on my morning News/Talk show and some doofus whom I won’t even name (Matt Lauer) gurgled that his kids had already gone through the “terrible twos.”

I hate it when people use stupid clichés and get them wrong. They sound stupid – twice.  So let me correct Matt and any other nitwit you know – so you can correct them and they won’t sound quite as dumb and I won’t get so annoyed. Ready?

The “Terrible Twos” – The correct phrase is the “terrible Ts – two and three”. How many times can a brat be two? I guess kids are supposed to be at their worst these years. I would guess they’re really pretty awful until their early 20’s.

A “Desert Island” – Deserts are filled with sand. If they had enough water to have an island, they wouldn’t be deserts. This dumb phrase has been hacked from a “Deserted Island” which is a good place for people who don’t know how to use the language correctly.

“I could care less.” – So could I. So can anyone who does not feel particularly strong about something one way or the other. If you are trying to say you are completely indifferent to something, you would correctly say, “I could NOT care less.” As in “I could not care less if Matt Laurer is left on a deserted island.”

“Literally.” – As in “He was literally crying his eyes out!”. Eeeeuuu – must have been a disgusting sight – with blood and bouncing eyeballs and all. Literally means actually – as it really happened. Of course it ruins the mediocrity of the cliché to say, “He was crying his eyes out – well, symbolically anyway.”

Well, good. I feel better now – and the world is a better place. Literally.

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I Hate Cliches Like the Plague

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

Promise you’ll eat worms in 2008 if you:

• “bring closure” to anything.

• take anything “to a new level”.

• “celebrate a life, not mourn a death”.

• determine “the true meaning of Christmas”.

• “stop to smell the roses”.

• say “Hot enough for you?”.

• say “Cold enough for you?”

• say “There you go….”

• say “whatever…….”

Why shouldn’t you say these things?

Because you’ll be sending the wrong message and won’t have a nice day.