Posts Tagged ‘Archie Comix’


Wednesday, May 20th, 2009


Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge, both rumored to be girlfriends of Archie Andrews, the red-haired, wholesome 65-year old Riverdale High School student, will actually marry each other in Los Angeles next month. It’s a story that’s sure to shock comic book readers of all ages, most of whom believed Archie would marry one of his “Arch-rivals”. Ms. Lodge made the announcement in front of a rack of flannel shirts in a Modesto, California Sears store with the blushing Betty Cooper at her side.

Speaking out of the side of her mouth with a non-filter cigarette on the other side, Ms. Lodge said, “Yah, I figured I’d make an honest woman out of her. I’m sick of the fact the FBA keeps getting more fingerprints than the FBI!”

When asked what ‘FBA’ stood for, the burley Veronica snarled, “Freaken’ Betty’s Ass”. The couple plan to marry on June 15th, the anniversary of  the marriage of the late J. Edgar Hoover and Clyde Tolson, Former Director and Mrs. Director of the FBI.

Archie Andrews appeared shocked at the news. When asked if he ever “got any – on the side?” from Ms. Lodge, Mr. Andrews said, “I haven’t gotten any in so long, I didn’t even know they moved it.”