Posts Tagged ‘Amy’

Are You Kidneying Me!?!

Monday, July 21st, 2008

(NOT ACTUAL SIZE)

Here’s one of my 5 kidney stones. Passing a kidney stone has been described as trying to blow a golf ball out of a garden hose. I wish it were that easy. Golf balls are relatively smooth compared to the formidable collection of cutting crystals you see above. Since it was one of the largest stones he saw passed “naturally”, my kidney doctor said either I was very large or it was horribly painful. It was horribly painful.

When cleaned and viewed under a magnifying glass, the stones themselves are rather pretty. My friend Amy has a collection of mine in a small, heart- shaped, blue velvet-lined case. She says she’s waiting for me to pass a few more so she can use them to make a bracelet. Amy is funny and strange. Very strange.

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Amy – My Twin & Best Friend.

Sunday, January 20th, 2008

amy-a.jpgamy-b.jpghicontrast1.jpg

Amy and I were born on June 9th. That’s our Birthday. What year? EVERY YEAR, Skippy…..Duh! Amy kept getting better and better looking but I didn’t. Of course she HAD to get better looking (see the first picture). Shortly after she was born, Amy looked like a wax sculpture which had been left in the sun. But she got much better very quickly!

Sometime, after she was five (middle picture), but before she was thirty (last picture) she was even a centerfold with real staples and everything. Unfortunately, she had gone mad by that time and took to sitting on counters and studying things in the sink. One day she decided she’d become Amish because she liked horses and carts. So she moved to Pennsylvania and I haven’t seen her since. I also have two sisters who moved to France to become Muslims. I haven’t seen them since either. Religion’s a bitch when it breaks up families even if you get a free horse and cart.

 

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