Shall I Pour More Wine into your Water Bowl?

Anyone who knows me knows I like cats better than people.  Honesty is big with cats. That’s why I know they burst out laughing when they hear commercials for the convoluted concoctions like you see above.

Looks good, doesn’t it? This one is Wild Salmon Primavera in a Classic Sauce with “garden” Veggies (as opposed, I guess, to those which are grown between the cracks of sidewalks). Ummm.

Advertisements for these “Elegant Medleys” say the selections are “restaurant inspired” – which is good news for those feline connoisseurs currently eating scraps out of restaurant dumpsters.

Unfortunately, few cats will be terribly enthusiastic about the new colors in the Medley menu. You see, cats can’t see many colors; in fact, some experts claim they can’t see ANY colors.

Texture? Cats are far-sighted and extremely sensitive to movement so they can hunt prey. Their extraordinary sense of smell is also a hunting tool. So a clump of stationary mush with different shapes, sizes, and colors – out of a metal can – isn’t much of a feline thrill no matter what fancy adjectives you slap on the label.

You can buy a no-name brand of cat food for about 29-cents a can. These “Fancier Feasts” START at 79-cents!

Why would this product even be made?

What’s born every minute?

3 Responses to “Shall I Pour More Wine into your Water Bowl?”

  1. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    What’s born every minute? About 1,000 cats. Maybe every second. But North America has it’s own ‘native’ breed of cat I learned. No foolin.’ It can be a tabby or white or any color but is of a large variety that is always-emphasis on ALWAYS a well adjusted freindly Human domesticated animal. I guess they found this with DNA. It is supposedly traced back to the Early Vikings that landed here. You heard of THREE DOG NIGHT? So cold the Australians would pull up by a fire with three dogs sleeping with them to keep them warm. The Vikings probably had a “Two foot beard and ten pussie Chill.”

  2. Bill says:

    A friend of mine once ate a can of cat food out of curiosity because of the now discredited stories about seniors buying the stuff as a cheap source of protein for themselves. She reported the flavor wasn’t bad at all, but she became violently ill about 30 minutes after finishing.

    Joe, my mother must have discovered a non-American breed. She had a series of large black males that served quite well as guard cats. You had to climb a flight of stairs to get to her apt, and waiting at the top would be a bundle of black roaring rage. Scared the hell out of people; she’d have to come out and pick the vicious sucker up to keep it from attacking.

  3. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    It must have been their time of the month. But My Mom and Dad retired to an “Adult” Mobile Home Park in St. Pete and I went there in 1974. There was a central area for park dinners (Bring a coverred dish type, and ADULT meant 65 yrs. old or retired. Very peaceful.) Since men die first it was full of poor widows and my Mom warned me not to ever eat anything they brought in made with meat since so many DID use Dog food marked “Fit for human Consumption.” The Dog food was horsemeat and it wasn’t that bad. BUT when shopping you might run into an old timer buying cat food and explaining it was like tuna fish with mayonaise. They were looking for the sympathy handout. One old guy broke down his entire months budget for me, rent, etc. And the pennies he saved by buying catfood let him drink two beers a day.
    I made up my mind if I ever got that hard up I’d just eat a dog or a cat.

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