Sad Lovers and Postal Junkies

There are only two things in life for which we constantly hope and dream, and then, even after our illusions have been continually squished like sidewalk worms after a spring rain – we begin again – as if it were our first time.

One is Love. The other is the Mail.

“Mail come?”

“Did you get the mail?”

“Mail late today?”

“Anything for me in the mail?”

“Mail in?”

“Anything in the mail today?”

“Mail here yet?”

After years of disappointments – for six days a week, we still hope there will be some significant prize in our Cracker Jack mail boxes – even though Reality is doubled over in laughter at our stupid dreams.

Here’s a little test for you postal junkies: the next time you’re SUPPOSED to get the mail – don’t. Put it off a bit. Don’t worry about tragedy – emergencies come over the phone. Try to ride out the craving – use your rational thinking process. You know one letter’s too many and a hundred letters aren’t enough.

Just ignore the damn mail for a day or two – really. Three days is kind of pushing it. If you’re not on vacation – and you don’t get your mail for three days – Postmen and Postwomen are trained to “tell someone.”

And then “someone” will come sniffing under your door. They’ll think you’re either strange . . . or dead.

2 Responses to “Sad Lovers and Postal Junkies”

  1. Bill says:

    You make a good point, but I get so much mail–ads and magazines–I have to pick it up or the postman finds it impossible to deliver the next day’s batch.

  2. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    I’m usually dead.

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