Roomin’ With Portia

 

 

 

Ellen DeGeneres just won the ‘Peoples’ Choice Award’ for Best TV Talk Show Host. I personally would have preferred Kelly Rippa but that’s only because of our past, well-documented affair. Anyway, Ellen took the stage to graciously accept her award and thank her multitudes of fans. And, her “roommate” Portia.

 

ROOMMATE?!

In August, 2008, Ellen married Portia de Rossi in an intimate ceremony at their home in Beverly Hills. And since she’s a wildly popular lesbian television star (as opposed to someone like Rosie O’Brother!), she must know that her lifestyle is helping to make easier being gay in America. So I think she could have done a whole lot better in choosing a term to designate her ________, Portia.  And therein lies the problem.

What do you call your basic, married gay person?

“Friend” is a little limp for this ‘special’ friendship – but certainly better than ‘roommate’.

“Husband” or “Wife” is a little dicey for immediately assigning stereotypical gender roles.

“Significant Other” just sucks.

“Partner” sounds like a business deal.

“Loved One” implies casket time.

“My … ‘Everything’, ‘World’, ‘Life’” … are overstated and definitely tough to live up to.

“Squeeze” …. Oh, pul-leez!

“Bedmate” would definitely be a conversation stopper in most social circles.

“Best Person” – blechhh.

“Better Half” – only if you wear a crew cut and white socks.

“Lover” – This is my personal favorite but probably too foreign-film sounding for most people.

Oh well – maybe it’s a good time to forget calling anyone anything and let people figure it out – or not. I think Ellen’s appreciation could have been more eloquently expressed by a simple, “Thank you, everyone. And a special thank you to Portia.”

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Paolo’s BEST post on Homosexuality? “Homosexuality is an Abomination”

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15 Responses to “Roomin’ With Portia”

  1. Sayiarly says:

    I think she did that to make a point.. because now legaly Portia is just her roomate.. is a political point if u ask me.. Go ellen!

  2. paolo. says:

    Agree with ‘go Ellen’. Respectfully disagree with it as a political point because if someone like me ‘didn’t get it’, who would? If she asked me, I would have said, “say: I’d also like to give a special thanks to my EX-wife, Portia”. THAT would have made the TODAY show!

  3. paolo. says:

    Of course since I live on another planet, I had no idea who Portia de Rossi is. So this morning I looked her up on Google-Images. And now I can enthusiastically say, “GO ELLEN! Whew!”

  4. Bill says:

    How about “my old lady”? I’ve heard plenty of guys use it to describe their twenty something year old wives. The phrase is tasteless, but it does get the point across.

    Actually, what is wrong with both partners using the title “wife”? Or two married gays both using the title “husband”. The words are gender specific, and I see no reason why the same word couldn’t be used for both partners in a same sex marriage. Forget the legalities; many living-with couples use the terms husband and wife.

  5. paolo. says:

    Well, there have been times when I’ve been forced to use, “my old-enough lady”.

  6. EB says:

    “Roommate” was meant to be subtle yet classy sarcasm in response to the passing of Prop. 8. Why would someone NOT get it? Must be completely dense not to, seriously. “Ex-wife” is over the top, and doesn’t show how the morons who passed Prop. 8 to begin with how they never recognized a solid union between two people to begin with. Roommate is benign and unfeeling, which is exactly what the Prop. 8 supporters are.

  7. paolo. says:

    “Must be completely dense not to, seriously.”

    Well EB, I’m sorry I’m not up to your obvious high standards of intellect. But I really don’t think many people ‘got it’. Perhaps “ex-wife” is over the top but “roommate” is clearly under the bottom. Most people who watch “The Peoples’ Choice Awards” would probably need a hammer to the side of the head to get the point rather than a classy-sassy needle. I may be the best example.

    Thanks for writing.
    Kind regards,
    paolo.

  8. 2009 man says:

    whas the matter with my bitch?

  9. paolo. says:

    Thanks, Buddy, for your typical unastute insight.

  10. In my late 50’s the VA gave this olds straight soldier some medicine for my head that shrunk my testosterone level to less than half of a small womans level and I grew tits. I live by the beach, like to walk on the beach with my wife but at this point we’ve both grown tits. I suspect this is all much ado about nothing. I wish I had realized when I was 20 that people really don’t care about anybody but themselves. For sure if you open your mouth you’ll get feedback but most people just want to be in their own world and be left alone. Even down here in Faulkners South. What people don’t like are liars. Now I do think it’s hilarious to watch a full grown tomcat nursing on it’s old Momma cat after shes had two or three more litters. But the corruption that brought down Rome wasn’t orgies or the circus Maximus. It was their love for tomatoe based foods and sauces cooked in lead cooking ware. By the time Nero was full grown he’d ingested enough lead to make him think fiddling around while he Burned the city was the show to beat all shows and it did. Speaking into the dictaphone had nothing to do with it. How do you people say in English, uh?? OH YEAH! “If everyone would just mind their own business the world would be a better place.” But if a 60 year old chemicly neutered graybeard with tits ever called his wife his bitch, I don’t think I’d make 61.

  11. santa says:

    The person that commented “bitch” sounds like a cold hearted person that
    probably lied ( xmas lie ) about a train when he was a kid. That’s all I can say about that.

  12. sasha says:

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