Pubic Toupees

A few centuries ago, prostitutes didn’t have it so good. Unfortunately, the world’s oldest profession was rife with some of the world’s oldest parasites: lice.  To stop the itching and prevent reinfestation,  working women had to shave their nether regions.

This was not necessarily good for business because a lack of pubes also exposed the marks of venereal disease and genital warts (getting excited yet?)

Enter the merkin, a false crop of pubic hair made from animal fur or human hair, trimmed to fit, and glued on.  As sexual hygiene improved and drugs were discovered to treat sexually transmitted- diseases, the demand for merkins dried up.

Today merkins are still around for three main reasons: 1) sexual novelties, 2) penis coverings for transsexuals, and 3) to get around the contracts of some Hollywood actresses which stipulate their genitalia must not be filmed.

A historical footnote: At times, President  Lyndon Baines Johnson seemed to believe he actually was a merkin!  Many of his speeches started, “Mah fellow ‘merkins…..”

8 Responses to “Pubic Toupees”

  1. Bill says:

    Off the topic a bit, but your mention of LBJ reminded me of how unbelievably poor at public speaking both Eisenhower and Johnson were. They could put a crack head to sleep. I was in the audience for an Eisenhower speech back in ’65 or ’66 and I thought I would pass out from boredom.

  2. dffdxfgbxf says:

    good one pooto

  3. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    You got PART of the Johnson/Merkin quote right. But your description of a “Merkin” is only halfway presented properly. I learned this for a FACT from a replacement from the States who was up on these things in the day-the proper timeframe. True he said, “My fellow MERKINS!” but a merkin in THIS country is not a nookie toupee. In America a Merkin is a hard on so bad it tightens the skin on your face. Like Johnson and Obama.

  4. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    And probably Michelle and nancy Pelosi.

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