Playing Footsie With Reality


There’s just not a lot of good news out there these days.  Maybe that’s why we get a kick about any story that isn’t a disaster – like the story of a – human foot – found on a conveyer belt at a recycling plant in Seneca, a small town in upstate New York, last Monday night.

Naturally the workers at Casella Waste Management were quite concerned when they saw the foot coming down the line. Are human body parts recyclable?  Was the rest of the body on its way? Was somebody just putting his best foot forward and keeping the rest?

As rumors ran rampant, law enforcement and county officials called the media for a press conference. They looked grim. Yes, initial medical reports said the foot was human and only partially decomposed. Yes, we’re sending it the Monroe County Medical Examiner’s Office for DNA confirmation. No, it has not been determined if it’s a male or female foot. No, we don’t know if it’s from a child or an adult.

Please people, they said, stop calling the police with reports of missing persons until we kick this thing around a bit and see what’s up.  Casella Waste gets refuse from 15 New York counties and parts of Canada – we’ve got to check all of them.  Yes, we’re on our toes down here – we know what we’re doing.

By Tuesday the crisis was peaking.  The plant was closed and inspectors were all over the place like smell on garbage. Then, a shocking development!  The foot was tracked to Canada – specifically to a load from a recycling centre on New Toronto Street, near Lake Shore Boulevard.  The Toronto Homicide Department stepped in.

“It could only be one of two things: medical waste or foul play,” said Toronto police Staff Sgt. David Vickers.  Uh oh.

The kicker came on Thursday.

“After days of DNA testing, we’ve determined that what we have is not a human foot – but probably the foot of a black bear,” said Seneca Sheriff Philip Povero. Oops – a bear foot – not a bare foot!  How embearassing! At least now Toronto Police could refocus their investigation to search for a large, black bear hopping around their city.

And what can we learn from this drama?  Something computer geeks taught us long ago  – “Garbage In – Garbage Out”.

Footloose but neither fancy nor free:

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23 Responses to “Playing Footsie With Reality”

  1. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    Are they absolutely sure it didn’t come from a dumpster behind a restaurant in Toronto’s China Town?

  2. Steve says:

    Sidebar: Hypothetical…
    if the coming North American Union is an actual possibility, could that explain the push for health care reform? I know we need to reform it…but could the unification of Canada/Mexico and the US be a motivation?

  3. Frank Paolo says:

    Hey, if the shoe fits……

  4. Brenda says:

    How in the hell can someone confuse a bear foot for a human foot? Do they really resemble each other that much?

  5. Frank Paolo says:

    A medical someone at that! I knew the difference between chimps and chumps isn’t much – but a bare foot and a bear foot? Be afraid people. Be very afraid.

  6. Steve says:

    It was a bear paw?
    Your’e kiddin’.
    No, they don’t resemble each other.
    Why don’t we have some type of group out there…that if you mislead the public, or pull some kind of scam, or anything like this…you get SOME type of reprimand?
    Seriously, I’m all for free speech, blah, blah, blah, but this hysteria thing, where people just say whatever they want, or think will gain attention, simply for the sake of getting attention (radio show host like Dobbs and Beck, expecially)…enough. We need to just say, enough already.
    No, you don’t get to yell “Fire” in a crowded theatre, just so you can see yourself on CNN.
    You don’t get a book deal just because you had 8 kids. And if you mistake a bear foot, for a human foot, then we get to publicly RIDICULE you, and make the next group of idiots think about it.
    Same for you “Jesus in a piece of toast” people.

  7. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    I don’t know about the intelligentsia your dealing with there, Cops and People that get paid to pick through garbage, Just one step above people that HAVE to pick through garbage. One guy says, “Hey Ralph! I just found a bears foot!” And 20′ away someone heard “I just found a Bare foot!” Those are country Folks, they knew the difference but when the Cops did the same thing just shut up and laughed. Even the news reported they found a bare foot. It was probably pretty stinky.
    North American Union??? Lets just have a ‘PISS ON FREEDOM’ day. Bring on 1984.

  8. Steve says:

    I believe the North American Union is coming. Business always gets it’s way.
    And really, is there even an America anymore? Really? The whole concept of America may be nice (Freedom, Flags, all that Founding Father, One Nation under whatever) but does it even live up to the hype anymore?
    It’s almost become “fat Elvis” or “Plastic surgery Michael Jackson”, a shell that relies on it’s earlier glory days.
    So, I don’t think a NA union will be any different. besides, corporations don’t see countries or borders…it’s all just target markets.
    We’re not citizens of a country, we’re consumers in a demographic and age range.
    I mean, if you walk in to a store, they don’t care if your’e an American or not. it’s all about the green, not the red white and blue.

  9. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    How much woosing out are you gonna do when things get bad? We have to throw the bums out, not roll over and let them screw us anymore. People have to be willing to fight and die for freedom. Are you gonna give up because we’ve been lied to and got the shitty end of the stick for a little while? Say, oh well, the idiots won. Why do you think the Mexicans are coming here? For a CHANCE because they have none in Mexico. Give a Mexican a chance for a Green card if he does a tour for the USA and he’ll be there the next day. And Canadians don’t want US, because we can’t clean our own house- yet. It’s time for one of Jeffersons Revolutions he called for. When you see people eating bugs and rats and living in grass houses with no electricity you may appreciate what you have. People will kill you and your family to get what you have and your so brainwashed by the jane Fonda’s and Sean Penns you can’t see it, even though you were close enough to smell the smoke, twice. Your education is severely lacking. Steve, how old are you?

  10. Steve says:

    I’m so not in the mood to even respond…not that it’s worth repsonding to anyway. But, it’s one of those mornings, so…You obvisouly don’t know me. Now, I know you’ve served and I respect that. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give you a “blank check” and let you go off on me like that without a response.
    I did not say the idiots won, “oh well”. And the “people who need to be willing to fight and die for freedom” if you’ve noticed ARE NOT the people who are in charge. So, if they never had to fight and die for freedom, why do THEY seem to be the ones enjoying it the most right now, while poor people, who HAVE sacrificed are the ones taking it up the ass, and always have been? Don’t come at me with “appreciate what you have”. Like I said, you don’t know me. Now, I normally enjoy your comments, and I don’t want to start a fight with you. But I could easily say the same about you, “We need a revolution!” types…can I tell you how long I’ve been hearing THAT? Shit or get off the toilet. If you want a revolution….f**king do it…or just shut up about it. Cuz I’ve been waiting for it, and I haven’t seen Jack, yet. ALL TALK!
    And then you toss out Jane Fonda and Sean Penn. Let me tell you, both of those people have more balls than most because they STAND UP for what they believe, knowing it’s not popular.
    So, you wanna tell me my education is lacking….check your own, pal. Like I said, you served, and I respect that, but that doesn’t mean you know it all, either.
    And I can guarentee you, the reasons YOU fought, were NOT for the same reasons as the people who start the wars. You believe in something that THEY manufactured for you to believe in, to get you to fight their battles for THEIR profits. Did you fight for Freedom? Whose freedom? Yours? Ours?
    Theirs? How are they treating you now? You may be willing to die for freedom, I can assure you THEY are not, and THEY are running the show…so who won that one? Did you fight along any Senator Sons or rich, Wall St. kids? And say you have your littel revolution…do you even know who you would be fighting? And who is gonna run things after? What, you think it’s gonna be all that different. heck, do you think a revolution could even win? What, rednecks with shotguns against Blackwater? Are you kidding? Billy Bob against a trained mercenary? A revolution….please. This isn’t 1776, you’re not militia Minute-Men fighting marching British Soldiers. The Good Ol’ Boys wouldn’t even get their trucks started before a member of some private corporate army slit their throats behind the wheel. In case you hadn’t noticed, they’re better armed. I’m a gun owner, and not even I am stupid enough to think I’m gonna start any revolution with my little 9mm.
    Look, you fought for your country, you fought and believed in America, again, I do respect that, but THEY don’t, and watch the NA Union come anyway. I’m sorry, but Citibank and WalMArt don’t share your vision, and they don’t care about your, or anyone elses sacrifice to this country.
    Like the mob says, “Hey, it’s just business”.
    Do you think, that you, as an American…look ANY different to a US corporation than someone from Singapore, or Mexico, or Greenland.
    All the numbers look the same on the credit cards. Call a help desk in Mumbai, and say your American, and see if you get bumped to the front of the line. Tell them your’e a vet, even, ask for a discount because you fought for America. Now, if we met in a diner, I would pay your tab and say thanks…but ask your bank for a break on a loan…see what they say.

    I’m 44,
    and man, you seriously caught me in a mood.

    Sorry FP.

  11. Steve says:

    Sidebar: Changing the subject.
    A great woman died today.

    I’m dreading what Conservatives will say about Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

  12. Steve says:

    All, especially Joseph.
    I apologize for my rant. I woke up cranky.

  13. Frank Paolo says:

    No apology necessary. I respect both of your passionate views. More specifically, I’d like to hear your responses to two points – mine – one of which should piss off each of you:

    1. We cannot “throw out” illegals for a very good economic reason: we’d collapse the agriculture industry in about 2 seasons. Wayne County (next to our own Monroe County – for those of you unfamiliar with the region) depends on agriculture more than any other county (except one) in THE UNITED STATES! Farmers (most living on borrowed $ and a thin line) cannot afford minimum wage, etc. and students won’t pick fruit. So now what?

    If the price of fruit & vegetables goes up, foreign competitors will gladly fill Wegmans (a huge grocery chain here) shelves at prices with which local farmers could not compete.

    So then what? Buy American apples even though they’d be 3 or 4 times more expensive? Ban imports? Not going to happen. So realistically we’re pretty much stuck with the status quo and no pie-in-the-sky revolution is going to fix it.

    2. We shouldn’t kick out illegals but we should make them more American – starting with English as our ONLY language officially. Language is the cement that pulls a society together. English ONLY in schools – in Social Services, television stations, etc.

    A massive campaign to teach people English should begin immediately! How? We have empty schools and unemployed teachers for about 3-months a year. What a wasted resource!

    Teachers won’t teach year round for their pay and benefits? Oh, too bad. I WILL – and be glad to take a teacher’s place. Lots of people like me need the work – everyone must make sacrifices.


  14. Steve says:

    Yeah, I grew up in Wayne County. It would disappear without migrant workers, and we wouldn’t have any apples at Wegmans.
    I have no problem with making English our official language, or people learning it. I’m trying to learn Spanish, so I’m also for knowing more than one language though.
    I agree with teaching year round, summer vacation is an outdated concepted when this country had farmers who needed kids home to work.

  15. Frank Paolo says:

    “I have no problem with making English our official language”

    Steve, I knew you were a right-wing closet looney! (lol) And I don’t agree with quad (?) on the D&C. You ARE particularly liked in THIS forum and your opinions and sidebars are ALWAYS welcome – Joe, too!

  16. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    I gotta soak all that up and no i don’t want to fight, but the student strike of 1970, after kent state, turned this country on it’s head. That WAS the beginning of a non violent revolution. and did more to keep us out of small wars for profit for over 30 years without any students carrying weapons. The revolution MUST come at the polls, for all the reasons you gave. By education I mean seeing the people turn the government around on it’s head. We SCARED the powers that be. But it took the people and durring this congressional recess our Senators are hiding from the people, OUR Senator QUIT. Jane Fonda gave names to the prison commandant of all the men that wanted her to smuggle their names to their wives and children and got some of them beat to death. That is a traitor. Sean Penn shook hands with Chavez in S. America right before he put his FARC backing Iran armed 100,000 man army on the Columbian Border- BUT FARC had just been caught after mass murderring 5,000 coffee growers and chopping them up like butcherring chickens so they could fit the bodies in small holes, richt after Chavez met FARC’s leader in the mountain hideout in Peru. The Columbian Secret police sent Chavez the hands he shook in a bag. He pulled away from the Columbian Border. You can’t buy American fruit in the grocery stores around here. Unless it’s peaches in season and they are bringing in similar looking “nectarines, unripe and lousy to try to get around that. The revolution has to be similar to the one Frank and I lived through before they did away with the draft. The POLICE led the revolution in Lithuania. I have many mexican freinds and the mexicans on the border do more to stop AlQuaada from coming through that way than our border patrol does. Texans HATE Mexicans. I think we would be doing much more to further ourselves if we took the billions of Dollars we are wasting trying to change people religions in their own homes if we spent it doing business with Mexico, but not by making it a state. Do you think mexicans want to give up Mexico to the United states? Building a wall is such a freaking insult. We built Boulder damn and the water from the Colorado that used to irrigate thousands of acres of mexican soil is sucked into the sandstone and eveaporated from the lake Boulder Damn made. We have attacked mexico over and over For TEXAS and ARIZONA? Stolen California. But America is waking up to the stealthy incursion of a socialist government. THAT is not freedom, or what anyone fought for. I asked your age to see exactly how much history you had witnessed, not to put you down for being younger. But the older you get the more willing you are to admit you don’t know everything and at 44 you know that already. I never heard of a North American Union until you brought it up. The closest we came to a revolution was when there was a draft and everyone was forced to participate. The man that started Verizon was my capt. and a Millionaire out of Oklahoma city was a courrier to LZ Oasis from saigon with a ten mile ride down “Suicide run.” Without a draft, there are no senators sons going. That is wrong. They won’t bring back a draft, and make up tons of reasons why- draftees are no good, even though they won the civil war, WWI, and WWII. They won’t bring it back because there would be a stampede on Washington. I’m not for a draft for war, I’m for a draft because it will bring them to a screeching halt.

  17. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    Why in the world would anyone say anything bad about Eunice Shriver? That would take some really low life people to do that. Beyond talking too.

  18. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    You do realize the bums I said throw out, was our representatives don’t you?

  19. Steve says:

    I don’t know of anyoen who said anything bad about Eunice…and I hope no one does (I can see beck or Limbaugh though).
    Thanks, FP.
    An instance of a country unifying one one language. People assume the official lang. of Italy is Italian, whici it is, now, but it wasn’t always so (as I’m sure you know)..there are many, many dialects, where a person in one town, wouldn’t be able to communicate with a person from the next town.
    So, in that respect, I agree. The only problem with having “one language” is that it is one more thing to seperate us….I uses the “Speak English or Die” crowd.

  20. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    Why Bush’s Wall won’t work. In 1969 my low altitude anti aircraft unit was part of Nixon’ “Operation Intercept.” We already shut down the Mexican border, and there were hundreds if not thousands of Mexicans crossing the border legally everyday to go to work, and Nixon decided to search every car and truck, and put our Radars all along the mexican Border to catch smugglers. The line of cars coming accross the border stretched 3 miles everyday. No smuggler would brave that line with three miles to throw contraband out. Business on both sides of the border shrunk to NOTHING. Before piss testing, the Army in it’s infinite wisdom assigned all the people it didn’t like to desert radar duty. The result was a small army of potheads, isolated and all alone way beyond getting caught smoking, getting high and laughing at the radar screen. The cathouses in Juarez dried up because nobody would go accross to go through the hassle of coming back, so the price of nookie dropped to $5 and if you were brave enough to walk over and have a date with a woman, they were so lonely they’d rape you over and over and even give you your $5 back if you stayed. (Before AIDS) After 2 months, WE NEVER CAUGHT ANYBODY. tHE WALL IS A JOKE. We need to help the Federales catch the coyotes because they will take their human cargo and lock them into the trucks they dessert without water to die from the heat. The people in the business of human trade are no different than the slavers that chained excess “cargo” together and threw them over the side in the middle passage. Searching every vehicle has been done and it doesn’t work.

  21. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    “Speak English or Die?” Man the people writing on the rags up North really are WAAAY more predjudice than the “New South.” The people who really changed the South were southerners. It had to be that way. They got tired of seeing disgusting things done in Gods name. Down here it’s more like “HEY! This is America. Why should I have to dial 1 for English?”Semantics. A book from the 70’s called FUTURE SHOCK, by Dr. Alvin Toffler describes all the problems we are having, predicts doublewides and mobile home -pre fab takeover for the population growth, and says in summation, those that cannot change when the population doubles and quadruples, will perrish. We have to change or die. But just what and how we change can’t be forced on us, until survival means rationing, in my opinion.

  22. Paul says:

    Future Shock also prepared us for the enormous amount of free time that we have today. Remember that bone headed prediction?

  23. Joseph Belle-Isle says:

    Oh yeah, It’s been a long time – the statistics in the beginning are still awsome but the free time, usually translates to beoredom

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