No Such Thing as a Bad Road Job

PBS’s Antique Road Show seems to be the same thing every week. Some dumb goober sits with the suited estimator and they’re staring at a piece of crap that looks like the frozen fecal clumps they used to dump out of jet planes.

Estimator: “Tell me – how did you come across this piece?”

Goober: “Me and Hilda the wife was at some barn sale and she took a liking to it. It was $2.00 but I pushed the guy down to a buck and a half so I bought it just to shut her up.”

Estimator: “Heh, heh. Well do you know what you have here?”

Goober: “Nope. I tell my friends it’s a doorstop for Hilda’s mouth.”

Estimator: “Heh, heh. Well, you have a blah-blah, sculpted by blah-blah-blah during his green fecal period.”

Goober: “Is that good?”

Estimator: “Heh, heh. Well you should thank your wife – at auction it would bring anywhere between $10- and $20,000.”

Goober: “You shittin’ me, boy!?” EDITED FOR TELEVISION: “Wow – I better not drop it.”

Estimator: “Heh, heh.” THINKING: “You lucky old fart! You should choke on the goddam thing!”

Antique Road Show

One Response to “No Such Thing as a Bad Road Job”

  1. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    I never realized that an understanding of the value of antiques would be a good second hobby for those Dr’s that do autopsies. “I found one of the missing arms to Venus de Milo halfway up John Gotti’s ass!” heh heh. “And the other one up Al Pacino’s and he wasn’t even dead! He just came by to get some fresh sardines and I have this humoungus tropical fish collection!”

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