No Nudes is Bad Nudes


Memorial Day traditionally has been the kickoff opening for nudist resorts in climate-challenged regions like ours. I’ve enjoyed nude sunbathing for years and, as others have told me, it’s no big thing.

The resorts have ranged from ‘naturist-primitive’ – like the one we have near Sodus, NY – to ‘pool side umbrella drinks’ such as a resort I know near Toronto. But whatever the location, nudists enjoy the sun and the freedom allowed by a clothes -free environment.

This freedom comes from total body acceptance without regard to the ‘young, beautiful, slender bodies’ and ‘latest fashion’ pressures that dominate our culture. While getting a tan, I’ve seen the bodies of senior citizens, kids, mastectomy survivors, scar victims, fat people, skinny people, and just about everyone else under the sun. It’s hard to believe – but nobody really cares what you look like. For first time nudists, the naked novelty idea wears off after about five or ten minutes – really.

In this society, we associate being naked with sex – but nudist resorts are about as sexy as dog shows. There are no displays of physical affection, teasing bikinis, or “enhanced” SpeedO’s. Sun worshippers surprised me at first. Most are just average, tradition – bound Americans with this one rebellious activity which they do not consider rebellious at all.

Do they worry about skin damage from the sun? Oh please – virtually everything is relatively safe when done in moderation. And anything done regularly to the extreme is usually harmful – especially moderation.

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9 Responses to “No Nudes is Bad Nudes”

  1. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    I had a captain on the little island freighter that we deliverred beer, wood, containers, and cars to the out Islands with that captain that was a nudist. He also had a degree in I think it was Nuclear Biology from Harvard, but his five ex wives and 13 kids pretty much ate up his paycheck and working in ice cold research facilities made him miss the tropical sun. Somehow he got four of his wives and the 13 kids to live in a large house he rented for them so he could stay out at sea and enjoy the islands. On a trip to Grand Cayman the very wealthy owner of the boat flew over it with his girlfreind, 1,000 miles out, and she was insulted by his naked form on top of the wheelhouse taking a full sunbath. Our hydraulic crane broke and needed a part flown to cayman so the engineer could fix it when the Irate owner showed up and told him to get us to unload the boat by hand and they got in an argument about renting a crane. It was costing a grand a day to sit there idle. But the furor was about his little ding dong insulting the owners sweetheart 1,000 miles out of Miami.My Captain, Tom Van Brundt, said something that is still one of the funniest quotes I’ve heard in my life. the owner refused to rent a crane because he said, “We can do anything with money, we’re going to do this with our brains. Get everyone out here including the cook and we’ll unload the boat by hand!” We were all to be punished for the captains sunbath. The captain said , “Let me make sure I have this straight. We’re arguing about renting a crane that would cost a little money to get $100,000 worth of cargo off a boat that’s costing you $1,000 a day to sit here because a $50,000 crane is broke, and your worried about whether or not I had my pants on in the middle of the Ocean?!” The owner said he owned the boat and gave the orders. The captain said, “I’m the captain of this boat in a foreign country and NOBODY tells me how to do anything. He was fired as soon as we got back to Miami and the whole crew quit, but the capt didn’t know what had happened and when he got back to the boat and saw the line of us picking up our checks all he’s heard was another guy and I had got caught smoking a joint in front of the company president- blowing smoke in his face really. He said, “I can’t believe you smoked a joint in front of the company president!” And I broke it to him- “It was only a little one, but you may as well get in line too, you were fired first.”

  2. Frank Paolo says:

    Brenda commented on this post but somehow it didn’t show up.

    Submitted on 2009/05/29 at 6:38pm

    Hey I’m not buying the whole skin damage thing. I haven’t been to a nudist beach, but I have been in a tanning bed. Lets just say some parts tanned, but other parts burned. I wasn’t using the booth like a fool either.

    Anyway, which one is you Paolo? I dig the nudist thing, but don’t think I could ever be nude like that. Even though it would probably be a total spiritual release. Imagine being able to lift the weight of self consiousness of one’s shoulders. It sounds terrific.

    (paolo: Although I’m not in this picture, I think she has a couple of good points).

  3. Frank Paolo says:

    JBI- I don’t quite understand the story. Was the bitch’s zingy because of the Cap’t’s bare thingy on the dingy? Or because with four wives on a tropical island, he lived like a kingy?

  4. Frank Paolo says:

    Of course, as we all know, it’s always about the blingy.

  5. Brenda says:

    Perhaps the girl wanted to have a flingy with the captain after seeing his thingy on the dingy.

  6. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    I think Brenda’s right and I never realized it before! The guy wasn’t mad because the woman was- the guy was mad because she wasn’t!!! But this sounds like Dr. Seuss writing the, “Cat in the hat, with the candy in his pocket!”

  7. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    But seriously about skin cancer, as kids we all get sunburned real bad a few times, and some of what I’ve read say that that is the time the seeds of skin cancer are started. And that the ultr-violet rays of southern Fla. are 17% stronger.. And I have always wonderred how manufacturers of sunscreen know it works? When it may take 40 years to find out? People in equatorial countries by tradition have been wearing light wide brimmed hats since forever. All we really need is a hat.

  8. Mariah Mirza says:

    Hello. I think you could also make more of it through a bigger exposure about \”No Nudes is Bad Nudes\”. Perhaps you can have some novelty candy containers.

  9. Thanks a lot for the excellent article. Being bare-skinned is a great feeling and isn’t about something sexual.

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