Newt Gingrich is running for President on 2012 and I seriously don’t care. I forget if he’s a Democrat or a Republican but it doesn’t really matter. Newt is so far in the mainstream of American politics he could appear on either ballot.
But the main reason I could not even consider him for President is his name – Newt – a type of salamander. OK, I admit I’m superficial – but it is one ugly moniker. A story going around years ago was that his aunt (or somebody) upon seeing the new born baby said “Why, he’s as cute as a newt!” She must have been drunk. Newts aren’t cute – they’re slimey, creepy lizards that crawl out of swamps.
Newt is probably just short for Newton – another nerd name. I looked it up and Newton is the name given to one out of every 250,000 boys born in America (Knute Rockne was born in Norway).
Do we want a President named after a wet lizard?
Would America have the same respect for a Wallabee Washington or a Penguin Lincoln? The only time we might think it appropriate would be for Titmouse Clinton – maybe both of them.
Pullzit Daily, frum Chickagow
Todays kids would probably think Chickagow was a civil war battle, hell it might be.