My Lamborghini Isn’t In Yet

So until it’s delivered, I’ll continue to ride the bus. Actually I like riding the bus – it’s a new adventure every day! When I see ‘#7- Monroe’ approaching in the distance, I smile and think of it as an old friend to whom I don’t have to talk or make future plans. It’s like getting a check in the mail. You know it’s going to come – but it’s still a nice moment when it arrives.

When my bus stops, I know exactly what to do. There’s not a second of social awkwardness. I wait for the door to open, walk up two steps, greet the bus driver, slip my dollar into the slot, and then find a seat. My favorite is an aisle seat, first row, balcony – just like in a theater. The balcony is the raised last third of the bus and those two extra steps discourage a lot of undesirable seatmates like fat 2-seaters, bag ladies, old cranks, and drunk bums.

The occasional drunk can be a three-stop show himself if he gets a little loud. The other night a bum saw this kid across the aisle who had a pack of Newports. Of course he asked for one – of course the kid said ‘no’. The drunk asked again, this time louder with a little whine thrown in. The kid said ‘NO’ even louder. The drunk then asked if the kid would trade a smoke for this grubby, old Riccola cough drop he pulled out of his pocket.

Even from three rows back in the balcony I could see that the lozenge was nothing on which I would even like to step – much less put in my mouth. The other passengers started to titter, the kid started saying some unkind things, the bum tried to raise the ante to two lozenges, and then the bus driver loudly yelled, “Everybody – Shut Up!” Everybody shut up.

There’s an old saying, “It’s tough to put a dollar value on good times like these.” But on the bus, it isn’t. They only cost a buck.

Beautiful Lamborghinis: /

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