Letter Rip

There are only two things in life for which we constantly hope and dream, and then, even after our illusions have been continually squished like sidewalk worms after a spring rain – we begin again.

One is Love. The other is Mail.

“Mail come?”

“Did you get the mail?”

“Mail here yet?

After years of disappointments – for six days a week, we still hope there will be some significant prize in our Cracker Jack mail boxes – even though Reality is doubled over in laughter at our stupid dreams.

Here’s a little test for you postal junkies: the next time you’re SUPPOSED to get the mail – don’t. Put it off a bit. Don’t worry about tragedy – emergencies come over the phone. Try to ride out the craving – use your rational thinking process. You know one letter’s too many and a hundred letters aren’t enough.

Just ignore the damn mail for a day or two – really. Three days is kind of pushing it. If you’re not on vacation – and you don’t get your mail for three days – Postmen and Postwomen are trained to “tell someone.”

And then “someone” will come sniffing under your door. They’ll think you’re either strange . . . or dead.

Leave a Reply