Just Read the Damn Label


In America, everything you eat or drink out of a container must have a nutrition label in accordance with strict US FDA guidelines. Normally that’s a good thing. If your kids like some sort of “frosted” cereal, the label will probably tell you the flakes are over 50% sugar – or fructose sweetener or corn syrup – or something like that.

Actually, if you’re the frugal sort, you could buy a pound of no-name, corn flakes on the cheap, then dump a 1/2 pound of sugar on them, shake it up, and serve. If you do an impersonation of Tony the Tiger (or whichever cartoon shill is now hawking this crap on TV) you’ll enhance your kid’s cereal-eating experience. This usually works for kids under two – after that you’ll probably have to spring for the real thing.

Anyway, one problem with arbitrary rules is there aren’t any logical exceptions. What’s good for the flake must also be good for the water.


Yes, water. Each bottle of fancy water must have a nutrition label on it. From Poland Springs to Evian (‘which is naive spelled backwards – you knew that, right?) they have to be labeled so consumers can make healthy choices. Not surprisingly, they all look pretty much alike:

Calories? Uh, 0 – it’s water.
Carbohydrates? Yup, 0% – it’s water.
Fat? Right again. 0% – and you know why.

I wonder what would happen if a big, bottled-water company like Perrier said, “OK – enough of this foolishness. All were putting under ‘Nutritional Information’ is: 100% water.” Would the FDA go after them? With our tax dollars?

I don’t know why I get annoyed at stuff like this. I just have a problem with stupid rules that don’t make sense- especially from the government. It could be a genetic thing.


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