John McSame?

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The Republicans have to be kidding! The country is barreling downhill towards economic meltdown – the stupid war continues to murder people after 5 years (yeh, surge THIS, Bush!) – and the U.S. is now hated by more people worldwide than ever before. Most young people don’t expect to see Social Security benefits even though some try to pay for them with maxed-out credit cards, W. is as popular as Idi Amin at an Aryan Brotherhood meeting, and you’d better not get sick over $4/gallon gas prices because there’s no national Health Insurance to take care of you.

Hey Bozo, here’s a good idea: run for President and promise to continue the same Bush policies that put us here in the first place. But there’s a problem – you gotta pick your own foreign country to level because there’s not much left of Iraq. Hmmm. I know – Italy! We know IT has weapons of mass consumption – pizza, pasta, cannoli’s – it’s no wonder our friggin’ kids are so fat. We’ll call the new war: Operation Garlic. What’s that you say? We don’t have a good reason to start a war with Italy?

Jesus, John – if you’re looking for good reasons to start wars, maybe you’re not Bush enough to run this country (into the ground).

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