Jimmy Hoffa: Please Call Your Office

Where the hell did they bury him?
Detroit FBI agents are digging in the dirt today because they’re trying to find the body of Jimmy Hoffa – again. Hoffa was the former Teamster Union president who was murdered on July 30, 1975.

I have no idea why they keep searching despite an old mob guy’s new “hot” cold tip. Since Detroit is one of the country’s top cities for violent crime, taxpayers would probably prefer to have their money spent on fighting crime rather than digging up a 38-year old case.

Most people believe the account of Frank ”the Irishman” Sheeran, one of Hoffa’s friends and top aides.  As Sheeran explains in his book, I Heard You Paint Houses*, the Irishman had to accept the “hit” contract because Hoffa was  threatening to expose Teamster-Mafia ties to take back the union. Also, he only trusted a very few people and would never get into a car with a stranger. The Irishman said it was a “hit or be hit” business suggestion.

Hoffa was shot twice behind the right ear by his “good friend” immediately after he entered a vacant house where he expected to have a “sit down” with a top Mafia leader. His body was rolled up in the carpet on which he was shot, driven a short distance to a mob-connected mortuary, and cremated within minutes of his murder.

The rumors that Hoffa is buried in Giants Stadium or in a freeway are pretty funny. Well orchestrated, professional hits don’t include instructions on how to drive long distances with a body in your trunk – especially if the body is Jimmy Hoffa.

* “Painting houses” is mob slang for shooting someone in the head.  When that occurs,  blood splatters the walls of the room in which the victim is shot.

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