I Interview Young Me

Me: Well, you know the rules. The year is 2009.  It’s Martin Luther King Day, on the eve of the inauguration of a new President. I’m interviewing you to get some insight into the perspective you had 40-years ago. And, of course, I can’t tell you how things turned out.

Young Me: Why not?

Me: Huh? Because those are the rules.

Young Me: Wow – did you get old! Following all the rules now, are we?

Me:(laughing) Not too many – just the ones I make. But I like your rebellious spirit….

Young Me: Oh – just the rules you make? Sounds like a pretty heavy power trip, man. And you “liking my rebellious spirit” sounds awfully condescending.

Me: Jesus! I can see how you could get on peoples’ nerves in a hurry. But anyway, just answer the damn questions, OK?

Young Me: OK – for now. I was taught to respect my elders. What do you want to ask?

Me: (shaking my head) Friggin’ annoying. OK- it’s 1968 from where you sit – what’s going on in the country now?

Young Me: Well it looks like Bobby Kennedy will become President in November. He’ll definitely crush that bastard Nixon and get us out of this fucking, senseless war.

Me: Vietnam?

Young Me: Of course Vietnam. How the country let some dumbass, lying, Texas politician get us into this mess in the first place is way beyond me. LBJ must have been tripping! I don’t know what America’s going to be like in 2009 but at least it wouldn’t  be stupid enough to get talked into a no-win war again, right?

Me: (silence)

Young Me: (louder) RIGHT!? For chrissakes it couldn’t happen again – no way! It didn’t happen again – RIGHT!?

Me: (DEFINITELY annoyed now) Look – I told ya before – I ask the questions! I can’t tell you ANYTHING about the future. I should just turn off this goddam computer right now!

Young Me: Hey, take it easy, old timer – you’re cool. What’s a computer?

Me: Oh….you don’t know what a computer is? I thought you knew EVERYTHING!

Young Me: (calmly) No.  Me? Of course not. Look – settle down – let’s talk, OK? (pause) Uh…..you mentioned something about Dr. King and an Inauguration. Did he really get to be President?

Me: (resigned; shaking my head)  You never give up, do you?

Young Me: (with PASSION) No, Old Man – that’s one thing on which I will not compromise. I’ll NEVER fucking GIVE UP! NEVER!

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5 Responses to “I Interview Young Me”

  1. Bill says:

    Frank, is that really you? If it is, how did you get your hair so straight?

  2. paolo. says:

    Great, Bill. I try to be a little creative, a little poignant between the lines – and you refuse to see me as anything other than an easy, sex-object.

  3. Paul says:

    I knew the young dude and I know the the old guy. I really enjoyed this interview and am looking forward more not-so-softball questions and answers.

  4. Paul says:

    Or at least “I Interview Young Me” Part ll.

  5. paolo. says:

    Be careful what you wish for, Mr. “Out of Order” sign- “11-aspirins will kill you”- “Durand Senior Blue Balls” man!

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