I’m Sorry to Inform You, Mr. Whitman . . .


…that we have not been able to locate your wife.  As soon as she was discovered missing from the expedition safari, be assured that an extensive search was conducted for over two-days.  Unfortunately, it produced no results.

My suggestion for you is to immediately contact the American Consulate in Nairobi for further advice and counsel.

With regret,

Maurice DuPrez
Commissioner General
Kenya Tourism Bureau
Kenya, East Africa

2 Responses to “I’m Sorry to Inform You, Mr. Whitman . . .”

  1. Bill says:

    Impressive, but he doesn’t measure up to the gifted black actor, Long Dong Silver.

  2. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    Shit, I guess i’m not paranoid that people have been following me with hidden cameras to take pics of my privates. Someone obviously pasted a pic of me over that pigmy’s ying yang. One more reason for a spitting contest.

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