Doppler? I Don’t Even Know Her!

I knew it.  They scored one in a row. And so the Weather-feathers were predicting big things for today – wild winds, snow dumps, and temperatures which longed to be on the good side of zero. Didn’t happen. The old people in my building slowly crawled out from under their beds with nervous eyes and braved an elevator ride to the lobby to talk about Storm-Light. There wasn’t much to say. The only people who didn’t see it not snow were two blind residents who weren’t driving anywhere anyway.

Although it’s now lightly snowing past my window up here, I just heard another weather goof say today’s snowfall was “not impressive.”

Not impressive? NOT IMPRESSIVE?!

What happened to the wallop of Storm Round II, NITS? C’mon, fellas, you can level with us. Did that big old, nasty front get stolen in Chicago? … get weary in dreary Erie, the Mistake on the Lake? … faint in Buffalo because the Bills actually won a game?

What happened?

Have you ever noticed that most weather people are men? Maybe that’s because women take life more seriously, can’t lie as well with a straight face, or have the chalones to walk back in front of the weather maps AND BLAME THE STORM for not living up to their silly predictions.

If most Americans worked at their jobs with the same degree of success this crew has after drinking at the isobar, the damn country would be in a recession! Oh….uhhh, never mind.

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