Cups of Hypocrisy

What’s the first thing a diner waitress says when she sees you?


Come in with a few friends?

“Coffee? Coffee? Coffee? Right away!”

And you’d better get it ‘right away’, Sugar Lips, because you’ve got a table full of caffeine junkies who are now hurtling through drug withdrawal and trying hard not to snatch up their butter knives and stab the annoying people seated next to them. Most of them don’t talk – they twitch. “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my first two cups” is the sad mantra chanted by these pathetic addicts 150-million times each morning across America.

When the coffee dealer finally distributes her steaming fixes, a whole new attitude surrounds the group. They’re friendlier – they start to chat – and their behavior would horrify members of polite society. They slurp, they blow, they smack, they suck, they rip open little packets of white powder, tear off the covers of tiny containers of liquid poison, and quickly mix up the nearly boiling-brew – before pouring it over some of the most sensitive parts of their bodies. Ouch! It hurts so good – like the needle prick announcement of anticipated joy when a junkie pushes a needle into a vein.  Then there’s the loud, satisfied “ahhh” which is an acceptable table grunt as they nod to each other in a shared understanding of affordable addiction. Coffee is America’s Drug of Choice – by far.

I hate coffee. I hate the taste. I hate the smell. I hate the mindless rituals. I hate those personalized cups which should say, “World’s Greatest Asshole” around a smiley face. But most of all, I hate the hypocrisy.

Caffeine is a drug – a powerful drug. And if you’re a daily coffee drinker, like about 150-million other Americans, you’re a drug addict – plain and simple. You can’t just quit without significant withdrawal symptoms and you can’t just stop at 2-cups a day. National average? About 4.

Caffeine makes you feel good – but is it good for you? Of course it’s not good for you. But I think you should drink all the coffee you want. I don’t care – it’s your body – fill it with whatever or whomever you choose. That’s called freedom.

However, I would care very much if you’re one of those flaming, “respectable” hypocrites who thinks you’re better than the millions of Americans rotting in jail cells because they loved a drug which is different than yours. Your drug is legal and inexpensive. Their drugs are illegal making them very expensive. Still, we’re all just junkies in the grand scheme of the universe – which probably doesn’t care one way or another anyway.


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6 Responses to “Cups of Hypocrisy”

  1. Bill says:

    Some people are addicted to alcohol or tobacco. Some to food. Others to television or religion.

    There are all kinds of addictions, and they all alter one’s state of mind. How does society decide which ones should be tolerated and which ones should be outlawed?

  2. Simplified there are two methods. Drugs that kill the users andthen hurt their loved ones and cause parentless children are the most obvious. Then drugs that make lawyers the easiest money and most lawmakers are lawyers come second. Any drug that’s illegal causes crime. The hard decision is when the cost of crime becomes higher than the cost of raising orphans. So the logical answer would be to legalise all, and have programs to dispense the deadly ones at a safe rate. Thereby lowering crime, deaths, but decreasing lawyers income. That’s the rub. Everything WAS legal until Harry Anslinger needed a job durring the first depression. And people were responsible for their own lives. What a idiotic thought in a free country.

  3. paolo. says:

    “people were responsible for their own lives. What an idiotic thought in a free country.”

    Joseph: Obviously you’re mentally ill. Make your own free choices in consensual crimes like drugs, etc.? NO! The “government” knows better than you – how to live your life. Maybe it should reprogram your brain. Seek help – you’re just not thinking like the rest of us. Why should we take responsibility for our own lives when the “gov’t” can do it for us?

    “Freedom’s just another phrase for ‘nothing left to lose’….Janis Joplin – ‘Booby Magee’.

  4. But I’d give all my tomorrows for one single yesterday, so long as it was a yesterday as old as that song and I had all the tomorrows i had then left. Maybe if we took children from their parents immediately after birth and raised them all in the same uniforms and in isolating dormitories until it was time to train them for jobs or reproduce, maybe we could create a master race. We just need something to control them when they are little so they all act right. Some kind of legal drug. If it’s legal it’s not a sin.

  5. amy stahl says:

    Money of course, Bill.

    Tolerated? Thats a five dollar word.
    No one cares about our health.

    Controlling the dollar is all that means a shit.

    If there isnt drugs in heaven; it aint heaven.

  6. Lorraine says:

    Addicions=lack of self-control. It’s pretty simple.

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