“But he left without his hiking clothes!”

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You were born nude, remember? And what’s the first thing they did after slapping you? They quickly slammed you into swaddling clothes that were so tight, they would make straight-jackets feel like tents. “Cover up your naked, shameful, disgusting body,” was the message. And it was pounded into us so many times, there are still some brain-dead people-pretenders who will only get naked IN THE DARK – even when they’re alone.

I bring this up (just in passing) because I was reminded of it last week when South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, a Conservative Republican, disappeared for few days without telling his wife, his family, his security people, and apparently, anyone else. Of course everyone tried to pretend to be calm before the cameras – but you just knew everyone was saying “JESUS F CHRIST! WHERE THE HELL IS HE!?” Although no new milk cartons were printed up, there actually was an informal meeting of South Carolina leaders to discuss ‘succession’ – just in case.

Finally, yesterday, Governor Sanford’s spokesman, Joel Sawyer expressed remorse for not divulging details earlier (as if he knew them). “The governor is hiking along the Appalachian Trail,” Sawyer said. “I apologize for taking so long to uhhh… make this announcement…”

Right. The story, however, goes beyond, “Governor Nutcase Takes a Hike”. Sunday was Fathers’ Day and Sanford’s kids might have wondered ‘what happened to Daddy’? But MORE important, the day on which Governor Sanford was hiking is also “National Naked Hiking Day”. This annual event is celebrated on the first day of summer when many people celebrate the solstice by hiking au naturel.

“Didn’t that guy look familiar? I remember his face – but I can’t quite place his…..”

Sexual repression leads to strange behavior – and, it seems to me, this was one strange hike.

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6 Responses to ““But he left without his hiking clothes!””

  1. Lacy says:

    Pretty nice post. I just found your site and wanted to say
    that I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts. In any case
    I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon!

  2. Brenda says:

    OK, so really, I thought you were pulling our chain Paolo. Maybe you were on a playful streak. So I googled it and saw the naked truth with my own eyes. In a flash it hit me. Paolo uncovered the mystery of the missing governor. His secret had been exposed!!! Will the governor be stripped of his dignity? Or will he redress the issue with his constituents? Since there is nothing left to the imagination, I will just have to see what the future bares;)

  3. Steve says:

    Hmm, taking off and not telling your family (or your kids) where you are going…
    must be more of that republican responsibility and accountability when it comes to family values.: – )

    has his gay escort come forward yet?

  4. Joe Belle-Isle says:

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!. A Real smart man who had been a Lieutenant in my unit and then passed the Federal Bar (No- not Tip O’neils) told me they had found a Federal Judge who liked the feeling of “freedom,” he got going nude under his judges robe. How DID they find out about the Guv’na? Where did he carry his bug spray? He nust have a gigantic foreskin. I huess you’d start out as a kid with with a Ubangi childrens lip stretcher and keep working up to bicycle wheels. His wife asks in the heat of the moment, “Is it in yet?” and he reply’s, I don’t even know if its out yet!”

  5. Brenda says:

    Well, well, well, I guess it wasn’t a nude hike after all. Too bad. I think it would have looked better for him, had it been. I am sure he was still nude, just not hiking.

  6. […] The story, however, goes beyond, “Governor Nutcase Takes a Hike ”. Sunday was Fathers’ Day and Sanford’s kids might have wondered ‘what happened to Daddy’? But MORE important, the day on which Governor Sanford was hiking is also …Continue […]

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