The Guys Will Now Line Up To Measure

China has hosted many beauty pageants in the past including  Miss World in 2012. On Friday, pageant officials laid down a new rule:  candidates had to have nipples spaced at least 20 centimeters (7.8 inches) apart.  Say what?

Besides traditional measurements like chest, waist and hips, and the new nipple-distance rule, the contest also demands the space between candidates’ pupils be at least 46-percent of the distance between their eyes and their ears. Better bring a calculator along with your tape measure.

Pageant officials said it determined the new numbers “using the internet.”

The internet EXPLODED with feminist anger when the announcement was made! “How can beauty standards include breast distance? Do they take women as toys?” said Chinese TV personality Yang Lan.

Well of course they take women as toys – they’re in a beauty pageant!

“Sure, I’ll let them measure my nipples,” said one disgusted contestant, “Right after the man drops his trousers and lets me measure his penis.” The chance of that happening would be very small.

One Response to “The Guys Will Now Line Up To Measure”

  1. Bill says:

    Actually, the pageant has not promulgated any such set of rules. Some universities in China wanted to maximize the chances of a Chinese girl winning the next Miss World contest, so they studied the measurements of past winners in an attempt to come up with a set of standards which would make a girl more likely to win a contest and imposed them on girls who entered their local competitions.

    A Chinese girl did win, but I don’t know if she was involved in one of the university competitions and I haven’t yet measured the distance between her nipples. I’m expecting her this weekend and will let you know the result of my hopefully exhausting research.

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