Archive for February, 2021

“How Can You Miss Me If I Never Leave?”

Thursday, February 25th, 2021

(There are over 1000+ posts over 13-years on the right of your screen. Click on any month since December, 2007. Be Good!)


Hey Ya!

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

Thank You, Ex-President Asswipe!

Monday, February 22nd, 2021

He could have taken a half dozen steps to stop this pandemic cold – but he chose not to.

Copy and Paste:

Uncommon Scents

Monday, February 22nd, 2021

THE STRIPPER CANDLE — “It’s a candle and an alibi all in one! You don’t smell like a stripper, you just smell like a candle.”


This is our favorite candle. After hundreds of hours of research and a lot of dollar bills we succeeded in capturing the legendary stripper scent. If you don’t know what a stripper smells like just imagine the perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand… plus some baby powder and broken dreams.

This is a perfect gift for your favorite bachelor or retired stripper who misses her pole.”

Additional candles: Bacon Candle, Beer Candle, Campfire Candle, Popcorn Candle plus many more.

$12.95 @ HOTWICKS:



Life On The 18th Floor

Sunday, February 21st, 2021
Tuffy is now close to 30-pounds and sleeps very well.

He has his own recliner which he sometimes lets me use.

A concrete canyon.
Looking East.
Visited by a hawk.
Relaxing night. They’re ALL pretty relaxing.
It’s always heart-racing when fire engines pull up and the elevators are turned off.


Saturday, February 20th, 2021
Don’t worry, Ladies. We’re all single.


Free Snowflake!

Friday, February 19th, 2021

Go to Google and type: ‘Cruz leaves poodle behind.’

Preview For You

Friday, February 19th, 2021

Time Waits For No Woman

Thursday, February 18th, 2021

I’m ‘on time’ more than most clocks you’ll ever own. One of the women with whom I lived, “D”, was late for everything – so she and I had to work something out.

Our agreement was simple: she got to CHOOSE the time we left – and those who were in the car at that precise time, got to leave with the car. What could be more fair?

It was a steamy, mid-August afternoon – you almost had to push the air out of the way when you moved. D. and I had to attend some miserable, dress-up, outdoor function.  Halfway home she decided she needed to go to the grocery store for a few things.

“Oooooh,” I groaned.

The car clock read 2:45 pm.

“Just 15 minutes!” she said. “Departure time will be 3:00pm – promise!”  I leaned back and turned on the radio. Then, 2:50, 2:54. “Damn!” I thought, “I knew it!” 2:58 – 3:00pm. “OK, that’s it,” I said to myself. I backed out and started for the exit.

That’s when I saw her in the rear view mirror. She had a grocery bag in each hand and was running very well for a tall blond in heels. I had forgotten she was on the track team in high school. And she almost made it to the car!

The phone was ringing when I got home. I had a pretty good idea who it was.

D and I no longer live together.


Don’t Be An Ash-Hole Today

Wednesday, February 17th, 2021

It would NOT be a good idea today to wipe that  unattractive smudge from your friend’s forehead. Today is Ash Wednesday – an important Holy Day for Catholics.

Of course, few Catholics remember why they get the smudge. I think it has something to do with the day America converted from coal to electricity,  or a remembrance of the day Tammi Faye Baker converted to Catholicism, or what you would look like after confessing to a mortal sin on Saturday afternoon, doing your penance – getting to third base with your girl Saturday night – then dying in a horrible car accident before you got to Communion Sunday morning. I forget – something like that.

Foreheads get a lot of play in different cultures.  Indians get color-coded dots – which is why we sensitively call them “dotheads.”  Muslims wrap them in turbans (“towelheads.”)  And there are a few who believe the forehead holds a “third eye.”  Holy optometrist!  OK – so I forgot the name of triple eyeballers.  Give me a break – I’m Italian! (slapping his forehead.)