Archive for October 31st, 2020

The First – And Last Place – He Saw Her

Saturday, October 31st, 2020

Boy meets Girl in a Florida Lenscrafters. She saw something in his eyes and they fell in love.  He asked her to say “eye do.”   She said ‘yes’ but died a few months later.  The boy then had his fiancee’s body cremated, sprinkled her ashes back at the store for “closure,” and left the scene.  Lenscrafters personnel, not knowing the white powder was a former employee, called the Sarasota police.

Hazmat crews responded, closed the mall, and asked shoppers to shelter in place so they could see if the substance was hazardous .  She wasn’t.

Sarasota has decided not to press charges against the grieving man but is considering charging him for all the costs involved.

Moral:  Don’t Put Down Her Ashes Where You Pick Up Your Glasses

Where can you scatter ashes?

Swallow Your Pride

Saturday, October 31st, 2020

I think I’m supposed to start by warning people that sword-swallowing is VERY DANGEROUS and should not be attempted at home.  But if you’re dumb enough to slide a 2-foot piece of metal down your throat without lessons, I’d be much more likely to nominate you for the ‘culling of the herd’ human evolution solution. And good luck to you.

Yes – sword-swallowers really do it. No – I don’t know how.  But I found a  link here from the series: “How Stuff Works” website. There are pages of explanations and instructions including:

“The act of swallowing a sword is an interaction between two fundamentally dissimilar objects – a human being’s upper gastrointestinal (GI) tract and a sword. The upper GI tract is a series of connected, living organs. It includes the throat, or pharynx, the esophagus and the stomach. The GI tract is relatively soft, and it has several pronounced curves in its relaxed state. A sword, on the other hand, is inanimate and rigid.”

More here.

If you proudly learn how to swallow a sword, you may join this group: