Archive for October 12th, 2020

‘Columbus Day?’ Do We Get Mail?

Monday, October 12th, 2020

It’s supposed to be a day of national pride – but most Italians shrug their shoulders and just don’t give a damn. We don’t paint ourselves in our national colors (whatever they are) – we don’t get drunk and start stupid barroom brawls, wrap ourselves in strange tribal dresses, blow off our fingers with patriotic fireworks, or polish our gold chains.

While other holidays have their cheery, little sayings like “Merry Christmas”, “Erin go Bragh”, and “Happy New Year,”  our most common greeting is “Do we get mail today?” And to me, that’s how ALL holidays should be celebrated.

Columbus was a typical, hustling paison. He sailed for the highest bidder – Queen Isabella of Spain – convincing her that he’d find the West Indies – supposedly a land of untold riches they could easily exploit. Contrary to popular opinion, he knew the world was NOT flat – he just didn’t know how big it was.

In 1492, Columbus’s three ships crashed into the Bahama Islands. They knew that wasn’t right, so they set sail again – and landed in Haiti – another disaster. A third major voyage landed in America which he then claimed he “discovered” – despite the fact that Vikings had landed ashore at least 500-years before, and the country was already populated by “Native” Americans (who may already have been dancing around looking for sites for future casinos.)

So ‘Columbus Discovered America’ is a good story – but probably not historically true. Oh well, at least he “discovered” America on a Monday – giving Americans another long weekend.

My Grandparents:

More roots:

Q: How can you tell if an Italian is in the Mafia?
A: His favorite dish is broken leg of lamb.