Archive for January 2nd, 2019

It’s Tough To Study for A Drug Test

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2019

Sydney Levin, 34, of St. Charles, Missouri was out on probation for possession of a controlled substance and felony theft. When he got out of jail, Sid smoked a little weed but really wasn’t worried about it.  The reason?  He’d bought the famous $99.95 Whizzinator kit which advertises that it: “includes a prosthetic penis with an adjustable strap, a 4oz reservoir, one vial of lab grade synthetic urine, 2 eight hour heat pads, temperature indicator, detailed instructions, and a reusable refill syringe.”

Sid figured he could easily pass a drug test.  Sid figured wrong.

The probation officer who gave the test became suspicious when Sid started “fiddling around down there like he was opening a jar of olives.”  He was immediately re-arrested and charged with “possessing a forging instrument” and, of course, violating his probation.

Warning: It might be inconvenient to apply for the Whizzonator’s money-back guarantee if you land back in jail.

The Whizzonator:

Also Available From Whizzonator:  Goldn’Shower

(Russian Hookers Not Included)