Archive for October, 2018

Hey trumpets:

Wednesday, October 31st, 2018

Halloween Smiles

Wednesday, October 31st, 2018

October 30, 2018

Tuesday, October 30th, 2018

Halloween Tomorrow

Tuesday, October 30th, 2018

This Halloween, Old Mr. Peanut . . .

Is Going As A Drunken Raisin.“Gin soaked raisins, an ancient folk remedy for relieving arthritic pain, have been improved by the development of the DrunkenRaisin for both flavor and possible anti-inflammatory effect.  Arthritis pain caused by inflammation has long been reported to experience relief by eating 8-9 gin soaked raisins each day.  By adding honey and high quality imported cinnamon, DrunkenRaisinshas raised the bar for effective relief.

Alleviating pesky and painful arthritis discomfort has never tasted better! DrunkenRaisins is happy to provide our customers with gin soaked raisins to help reduce the discomfort associated with arthritis.”

Pass It On

Monday, October 29th, 2018

Halloween In 2-Days!

Monday, October 29th, 2018

Freak The Kids – Carve A Pepper!

Put a little scare back into Halloween – it’s only 2-days away! Carved orange pumpkins are so boring, the kids might fall asleep on your porch.  Use your imagination!  Hell, the night is supposed to be at least a little scary, so do some edgy stuff before the little beggars get their treats.

Hook up speakers and blast the little superheros onto your lawn with extremely loud screams and groans.  Make sure the sounds aren’t playing constantly – wait until a new group arrives before hitting ‘play’.  A hooked up microphone can really add to the fun.

Hand out wrapped candy with fake, blood-dripping hands.  Come to the door with guts hanging from your mouth. And smile – don’t make a thing of it.  Talk to people who aren’t there and act very afraid.  Crawl to the door and give out treats lying down.  Carry a shovel and put your spouse on your back – seriously ask the kids to help you bury the body.

Ask them to bow their heads a moment before getting the treats because it was exactly one-year ago that your nephew, Joe Bagadonuts, had his throat slit on this very porch. Make sure there are adequate blood stains all over the stoop.  Come to the door crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

Do you want to REALLY repulse them?  For a treat, give them an apple or carrot.

Prefer an indoor party?  Make sure you dramatically read scary Halloween stories (in the dark):

My Sight Is 2020

Sunday, October 28th, 2018

I want you to read it here first: there’s only a 50-50 chance Tiny Asswipe will run for President in 2020. Consider:

1. trumpass will run only if he thinks he can win.
He has too much ego to go down as a loser. The economy, scandals, and the hatred he generates might make him say, “Hey – I don’t need this shit. I made ‘President’ – that’s enough!”

2. His health sucks.
Have you seen him lately? There’s not enough pumpkin makeup in the world to cover his pale, bloated puss. The only people who think Asswipe is healthy are a Manhattan physician who hasn’t examined him in over 20-years and a day-drunk-doctor who thinks he’ll live until he’s 200.

3. The investigation-S.
The Mueller probe has produced 35-indictments and 5-guilty pleas all of whom are singing, “The Pussy Grabber” Made Me Do It!”  New York State, the City of New York and many others can’t wait to get him into court!

The entire trump family is as crooked as a bucket of fish hooks and smells as bad. Asswipe’s not hiding those tax returns to conserve paper!

trumpass MAY run – but if he doesn’t, remember, you read it here first.


4-Days Until Halloween

Sunday, October 28th, 2018

Says It All

(Thank you “Friends Who Like Randy Rainbow”)

In Memory Of …

Saturday, October 27th, 2018

The Pittsburgh Victims of Hatred


***Saturday Trumpies Plus***

Saturday, October 27th, 2018

(People know I’m being sarcastic, right?  I’d rather eat worms than vote Republican.)