Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion

Art Fleming passed away. Do your remember him? He was the original host of Jeopardy from 1964 through 1975. I always liked him better than the priggish Alex Trabeck. Anyway Art had a heart attack near his home in Coral Gables, Florida.

As Art called for help from the sidewalk, many people just ignored him and walked by.  Apparently he didn’t phrase his plea in the form of a question.

Sydney Levin, 34, of St. Charles, Missouri was out on probation for possession of a controlled substance and felony theft. When he got out of jail, Sid smoked a little weed but really wasn’t worried about it.  The reason?  He’d bought the famous $99.95 Whizzinator kit which advertises that it: “includes a prosthetic penis with an adjustable strap, a 4oz reservoir, one vial of lab grade synthetic urine, 2 eight hour heat pads, temperature indicator, detailed instructions, and a reusable refill syringe.”

Sid figured he could easily pass a drug test.  Sid figured wrong.

The probation officer who gave the test became suspicious when Sid started “fiddling around down there like he was opening a jar of olives.”  He was immediately re-arrested and charged with “possessing a forging instrument” and, of course, violating his probation.

Warning: It might be inconvenient to apply for the Whizzonator’s money-back guarantee if you land back in jail.

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