Archive for March 23rd, 2018

But He Said He WOULDN’T Sign It!

Friday, March 23rd, 2018

Another Day, Another White House Fuck Up

Friday, March 23rd, 2018


(Watch for HUGE White House announcement Sunday or Monday to distract from Stormy Daniels interview!)


*F*U*N*N*I*E*S* Tomorrow

Friday, March 23rd, 2018

Perfect For Christmas Cards

Friday, March 23rd, 2018

Who’s the naked daughter in back embarrassing Mom?


How To Get Out Of Quicksand

Friday, March 23rd, 2018

In old Black & White jungle movies, there were few ways to die more horribly than getting sucked under by quicksand. The poor moke would thrash about, scream bloodcurdling cries for help, and desperately try to pull himself out with one, skinny tree branch.  Then – snap, last scream, and “glub …”

I can think of many jungle deaths I would find even more distasteful – such as being shredded like tissue paper by tigers or getting slowly crushed like a rat by an Anaconda – but that’s just me.

So why were B&W film characters dropping like flies into countless pits of quicksand besides the drama?  The main reason was cost.  Before animation, quicksand deaths were fast and cheap to film on the back lots of Hollywood.

Quicksand is made up of water plus sand with the consistency of mud.  It has no magical, unexplainable sucking powers.  Your chances of surviving a quicksand dip depend on two things: depth and your ability to stay calm.

Depth should be obvious.  If you step into quicksand with a depth of 1-foot, all you’re going to get is a muddy shoe and sock. Next time, watch where you’re walking, dolt. If you step into a pool over your head, you may have problems.

The human body can easily float on water. Quicksand is denser than water which means you can more easily float on it. The key is not to panic. The people who drown are those who freak out and begin flailing their arms and legs.The more you struggle, the faster you’ll sink. If you just relax, your body will float and you can slowly breaststroke to shore – to be eaten by the tigers and snakes.


Took Them 3-Days To Learn The Lyrics

Friday, March 23rd, 2018