Archive for February 7th, 2018

General Heel Spurs Only Gets Hard In …

Wednesday, February 7th, 2018

And Don’t Come Back!

Wednesday, February 7th, 2018

The Dalai Lama is the spiritual and political leader of Tibet and recognized internationally as a statesman for peace. He  was also awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his refusal to use violence against the Chinese invasion of his country. Tibetans believe he is the 14th reincarnation of Budda.

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China believes he’s just a pain-in-the-ass and would like to significantly downplay the importance of Buddhism to his 200,000 followers.

To that end, three years ago, China officially banned him from reincarnating himself.  Say what?  That’s right – in what has been described as the “most absurd act in authoritarian history” Beijing said he could not be born again in China or anywhere else.  Further, NO Buddhist monk in Tibet could reincarnate himself “without government permission.”

So who’s crazier?  People who believe they can reincarnate themselves – or a government which thinks it can stop them?

Dalai Lama quotes:  https://www.google.com/

“STOP GRABBING MY APPLES, BITCH!”

Wednesday, February 7th, 2018

Saint Matty Picked Eagles +9 Points

Wednesday, February 7th, 2018

The 12-Apostles had a problem. Judas dropped the dime on Jesus for 30-pieces of silver and then hung himself.  This produced an embarrassingly conspicuous hole in the Apostle team lineup.  Jesus chose TWELVE Apostles and wouldn’t be naming any more after the crucifiction debacle.  So what to do?

The guys got together and put up two names for membership: Barsabbas and Matthias.  They cast  “lots” (an early form of Bingo) and Matthias won.  Since Matty was so lucky, he became the Patron Saint of Gambling and was given February 24th as his Feast Day.  After that, February 24th became known as the ‘luckiest day of the year’ – perfect for buying lottery tickets, playing bingo, hosting church bazaars, and throwing Catholic post-Superbowl parties.

Matty seems to be an Apostle with a rather murky past and his death is something on which no one seems to agree.  Stoning, beheading, and burning-at-the-stake have all been suggested by various Catholic historical writings. 

I’d like to think Saint Matty just got lucky and died of old age.

Eagles crucified the Patriots at the Superbowl.

“Sure I Let Midas Touch Me! So What?”

Wednesday, February 7th, 2018