Archive for October 9th, 2017

October 9, 2017

Monday, October 9th, 2017

DISTRACTION.  President Asswipe releases ridiculous Immigration/Border demands on SUNDAY NIGHT so we’ll focus on those INSTEAD of Senator Corker’s brilliant  ‘Adult Day Care Center’ tweet and his new  30% RECORD LOW approval rating.

Pence’s NFL Walk-Out Cost Us $250,000+

Monday, October 9th, 2017

‘Columbus Day?’ Do We Get Mail?

Monday, October 9th, 2017


It’s supposed to be a day of national pride – but most Italians shrug their shoulders and just don’t give a damn. We don’t paint ourselves in our national colors (whatever they are) – we don’t get drunk and start stupid barroom brawls, wrap ourselves in strange tribal dresses, blow off our fingers with patriotic fireworks, or polish our gold chains.

While other holidays have their cheery, little sayings like “Merry Christmas”, “Erin go Bragh”, and “Happy New Year,”  our most common greeting is “Do we get mail today?” And to me, that’s how ALL holidays should be celebrated.

Columbus was a typical, hustling paison. He sailed for the highest bidder – Queen Isabella of Spain – convincing her that he’d find the West Indies – supposedly a land of untold riches they could easily exploit. Contrary to popular opinion, he knew the world was NOT flat – he just didn’t know how big it was.

In 1492, Columbus’s three ships crashed into the Bahama Islands. They knew that wasn’t right, so they set sail again – and landed in Haiti – another disaster. A third major voyage landed in America which he then claimed he “discovered” – despite the fact that Vikings had landed ashore at least 500-years before, and the country was already populated by “Native” Americans (who may already have been dancing around looking for sites for future casinos.)

So ‘Columbus Discovered America’ is a good story – but probably not historically true. Oh well, at least he “discovered” America on a Monday – giving Americans another long weekend.

My Grandparents:

More roots:

Q: How can you tell if an Italian is in the Mafia?
A: His favorite dish is broken leg of lamb.

‘I Ain’t Got Nobody’ (But SHE’S Gotta Body!)

Monday, October 9th, 2017

Las Vegas was a lot cooler when the Mob ran it in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s. To round out the gamblers’ experience, the hotels had “lounge acts” between the top entertainers of the day. The hottest lounge act in the best showrooms was wild man Louie Prima and “straight woman” Keely Smith.

Both Prima and Smith were musically talented jazz artists but when they added comedy to their act, the crowds packed the joints!

Prima directed Smith to play a bored, pokerfaced singer against his musical zaniness.  In real-life, she was his fourth wife and they had four children.  On stage, they are legendary.

Listen to one of their greatest hits, “Just A Jigalo.” And when Smith sang, “I ain’t got no body” – she was lying!

Do you think Las Vegas cheats?  You’re an idiot. Read:

Cat Shuts Up Annoying Dog

Monday, October 9th, 2017

“Don’t make me come up there again!”

Can cats and dogs get along?