Archive for September 26th, 2017

NASCAR: Whitest Sport Since Figure Skating

Tuesday, September 26th, 2017

The “whitest” sport:

Can’t Stem The Flo

Tuesday, September 26th, 2017

I think “Flo”, the Progressive Insurance spokeswoman, is funny and hot.  She’s played by actress-comedian Stephanie Courtney and there’s just something about her.

Flo is recognized by her exuberant personality, her excited and overly-sincere quest to please customers, her pre-hippy ‘60’s makeup and dumb hair. The makeup alone takes hours to apply.  She’s now done over 50 Progressive commercials and has a huge fan base.

“Flo could be one of my improv characters”, says Ms. Courtney, “always on and sort of cracked in a weird way.”

I think she kicks that annoying lizard’s ass!


There IS Someone For Everyone!

Tuesday, September 26th, 2017

Remember Paul Karason, the 59-year old man from Oregon who turned Blue? He had a bad case of bad skin (although I now suspect that may have been the least of his worries). For a cure, he started drinking colloidal silver. Where he got this idea is unclear but one suspects it was not recommended by the FDA.

Mr. Karason persistently drank his potion for over 10-years turning a deep shade of blue. I probably would have asked him to stop at a powder blue – but he probably wouldn’t have listened. Also, there wasn’t a Mrs. Karason around because who wants a spouse who’s always blue?

Anyway, I’ve thought of Mr. K. quite often since I saw the story. He continued to drink colloidal silver and I continued to worry about him finding a soulmate – until yesterday.

Yesterday I read about a young woman who wanted to be Orange.  This lady, (let’s call her “O”) read that humans can turn orange if they eat excessive amounts of carotene. So “O” immediately started eating carrots ONLY – for 30-days. And, yes, she DID turn orange!

Now no one (except me) has suggested these two might consider a romantic liaison – but why not!? They certainly have enough in common to color each other’s world. So what’s the problem? Children?

Well I’ve played with a color chart  based on my extensive knowledge of genetics. The skin color with which I came up is kind of a brownish-mauve – not a bad color for kids. Maybe after a few generations, there would be a new mixed breed of people called Mauvottos.

Or, because I thought of the idea, I would be honored if the new offspring were called Paolottos.

Paul died a few years after this article was written.  No word on the romance.  Read more: