Archive for April, 2017

Your Instant Psychoanalysis

Friday, April 28th, 2017


How much does psychoanalysis cost?

Thursday, April 27th, 2017


Sean Spicer Sings trumpass Happy Talk

Thursday, April 27th, 2017


Salvador Dali In 3D And Song

Thursday, April 27th, 2017

Mae West Sings Salvador Dali

April 26, 2017

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017


Are trumpass’s “massive tax cuts” good for Americans? Sure – for the 1% of the population who are crony-capitalist pigs like him.

The large tax cuts of 2001 & 2003 DID NOT ‘trickle down’ to average Americans. Why would this be any different?

General Hypocrisy

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017


Flynn troubles:

For 78-cents A Day, You Can Clothe These Girls

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017


. . . or just click your mouse.

Until she was 12-years old, Cindy didn’t know clothes came from places other than city dumps, Salvation Army hangers, or her 13-year old twin brother,  Wilbur. Times were so tough that when Wilbur was supposed to be born, her Mom had to hold him in for an extra 6-months.

When Cindy entered Junior High School at 12, she was classified as ‘gifted’ by her 42-year old homeroom teacher, half the boys in her class, and her gym teacher, who ironed towels for her.

Cindy quickly bonded with her clothes-less school friends like Stephanie, Naomi, and the rest – but somehow, they never quite felt like the other girls: “dressed”.

And that’s a pity because for only 78¢ a day – less than the extra cost of Bleu Cheese dressing on a side salad – you could be covering up Cindy and all her naked friends.  Think of it:  a lousy pocketful of change a day could change the lives of these ragamuffins.

Won’t you please help?

Naked models:

A Voluntary Tax On Stupid People

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017

See the pretty ticket above? It costs a dollar. And $500.00 a week for Life is a pretty good prize, right? So here come the official NYS odds for this dream. We’ll start on the smaller prizes first – get ready to WIN!

The odds against winning $1 are 8.77 to 1. For you non-bettors, that means on average, you’d have to buy about NINE tickets to scratch off a dollar winner. But, as the brighter ones in the group have already figured out, you don’t really “win” a dollar because that’s how much you paid for the ticket. So, OK – to win a dollar, you’ve really got to win $2 on the ticket. Odds against a two dollar ticket? About 47 to 1. WHAT? That’s right, Skippy; to actually win a dollar, on average, you’d have to scratch off 47-tickets.

It gets better, right? Right, this is New York State. To win $10, you’ll have to scratch 200 tickets. $100? Get ready to buy 50- thousand, 400-tickets. That’s a lot of buying and scratching for a hundred bucks. And the Grand Prize? $500 a week for Life? Get your coin out and start scratching. Better make it a few coins, you’ll need to scratch 7,938,000 tickets.

Don’t tell anyone though. It kind of ruins the game if you know it would take almost three entire lifetimes of around-the-clock scratching to win $500 a week for the rest of your life. Plus, about $8-million dollars in tickets.

Can you improve your odds?



Chance Of Winning? ZERO

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017


The chance of winning the Grand Prize on this ticket is roughly equivalent to walking around your backyard with a bushel basket waiting for a plane to drop $1-million into it. But even THOSE chances – zillions to one – are better than if you have NO CHANCE of winning.

What’s that?

Yeh, sorry. Sometimes there’s NO chance of winning the Grand Prize. Why?

Because someone may have ALREADY won it. WHAT!?  Well, how do you think they create a game?

The NYS Lottery Commission runs the numbers through computers to make sure the odds are so stupidly high, even Paris Hilton could see there’s little chance of  her ticket actually winning. And then they set the run of the new game (say a year) and print the estimated required number of tickets to distribute to retail vendors and start the massive ad campaigns.

BUT THEN some nitwit actually HITS the Grand Prize in the first month of a yearlong campaign! (It’s happened any number of times.) Uh-oh. There’s only one Grand Prize and eleven months to go. Now what?

“Well New York pulls the game or announces there is no more Grand Prize to win, right?”

Sure, kid. And the cow really jumped over the moon.


NYS Lottery:

‘GREAT NEWS’ – Coming To NBC By Tina Fey

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017