Archive for March 20th, 2017

I’m Sorry Grandma – I Used Sauce Out Of A Jar

Monday, March 20th, 2017

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Seems Like Old Times

Monday, March 20th, 2017

In 1999, Christopher Miller robbed a Stride Rite shoe store in Toms River, New Jersey. He was sentenced for the crime, served 15-years, and was released on a Friday.  The NEXT DAY he walked into the SAME store and stole a cash register containing $389 and the cell phones of two employees.

Unfortunately for habitual idiot Miller, he was recognized by one of the employees whom he robbed 15-years ago! Police arrested Miller within minutes, recovered the loot, and he’s now being held on $100,000 bail and facing another sentence of 10-20 years.

It’s tough to decide for whom we should feel more sorry – the loser con who made a poor career choice and can’t seem to get out of a rut – or the guy who’s been in the same retail shoe store for 15-years.

Robs same store 15-years later:  http://www.nydailynews.com/

Monday, March 20th, 2017

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This Might Not Be Bad

Monday, March 20th, 2017

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The Original Barbie Was A Call Girl

Monday, March 20th, 2017

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See her here:  http://www.messynessychic.com/

Happy Belated 58th Birthday, Barbie!

Monday, March 20th, 2017

I missed Barbies’s 58th birthday a few weeks ago but except for a little paunch and a few more lines, the babe STILL looks good. Of course she never had to shed baby fat, stumble through puberty, pull all-nighters, dribble drugs, have her first plastic period, get her heart stomped on a few times, cure hangovers, nor produce any little Barbies. Sure she got a little freaked marrying and then divorcing Ken – but what did she expect choosing the gayest guy this side of Provincetown? But Barbie’s life wasn’t all Fashion Queen plus three interchangeable wigs!

Women: picture yourself coming into this world with measurements of 39-18-33. If you could walk without toppling, you could have your pick of any guy at school. But imagine his horror the first time in a back seat at a drive-in when he discovers you’re SERIOUSLY not anatomically correct! So what if you got bendable legs in 1965? Who’s going to bend them and what for?

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Barbie, may you have many more.

Barbie’s Sexual Frustration Complex here.