Archive for March 1st, 2017

Don’t Be An Ash-Hole Today

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

It would NOT be a good idea today to wipe that  unattractive smudge from your friend’s forehead. Today is Ash Wednesday – an important Holy Day for Catholics.

Of course, few Catholics remember why they get the smudge. I think it has something to do with the day America converted from coal to electricity,  or a remembrance of the day Tammi Faye Baker converted to Catholicism, or what you would look like after confessing to a mortal sin on Saturday afternoon, doing your penance – getting to third base with your girl Saturday night – then dying in a horrible car accident before you got to Communion Sunday morning. I forget – something like that.

Foreheads get a lot of play in different cultures.  Indians get color-coded dots – which is why we sensitively call them “dotheads.”  Muslims wrap them in turbans (“towelheads.”)  And there are a few which believe the forehead holds a “third eye.”  Holy optometrist!  OK – so I forgot the name of triple eyeballers.  Give me a break – I’m Italian! (slapping his forehead.)

Ash Wednesday:  https://www.google.com

Fact-Checking His Bullshit

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

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No, I didn’t watch it.  I know there was a very positive reaction to trump’s address by those who did.  I suspect the main reason was because the bar was set so low and he didn’t call anyone names nor say anything stupid.

The American people are just sooo fucking gullible.  Fortunately there’s a well-respected organization which checks facts.  Unfortunately, ‘Lying-don’ lied his head off.

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READ MORE: http://www.factcheck.org

Do You Know Where Your Placenta Is?

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

Although essential for fetal life, after we’re born our lowly placenta is usually tossed like a used tissue. This wonderful, membraneous organ connects the developing fetus to the uterine wall to allow nutrient intake, waste elimination, and gas exchange via the mother’s blood supply. Unfortunately it looks like a dripping meal for a bit player in a zombie movie.

The only things worse than throwing away placentas are the alternatives. The most disturbing choice is eating one. Say what?! WHO EATS PLACENTAS?! You might guess some aborigine tribal-mamas egged on by shyster witch doctors – but you’d be wrong. The usual p-eaters are educated, upscale women who believe they get many positive physical benefits from eating them because they’re full of nutrients (although obviously recycled) and a natural life force.

These women also tell anyone who’ll listen – a very few I would guess – that the word ‘placenta’ comes from the Latin word for ‘cake.’  OK, then.

Only hardcore p-eaters (some with their husbands) sit down with a fork and knife and dive in. Really – a new placenta goes way beyond bloody ‘rare.’ Other women have it mixed into smoothies or send it to a company to be dried and repackaged into pills. Not hungry?  How about making it into jewelry or bronzing it? Here’s an upbeat website full of ideas:

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/109605/Eating_Your_Placenta

Stick This

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

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Stick figures: https://www.google.com/

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Emma To Sofia Plus Mona

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

Read about this GIF here.

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